Song Suggestion : Blasphemy - Bring Me The Horizon / Bury Me Face Down - Grandson

°°°°

Why must I feel this way?

Why am I surrounded by so much darkness? Why do I have to know so much pain?

Tell me - why am I so filled with hate?

I'm tired. Tired of the chaos that is my mind.

It's fraying at its fragile seams, ready to tear apart.

Am I even alive any more?

It feels like I'm falling with no end in sight. Spiralling so far downwards.

Will any one save me? Will any one drag me out of my messed-up mind - out of this darkness?

Does any one care enough to even try?

I can't. I just can't anymore. I'm done.

So filled with doubts. Stuck with the fear I immured within my own self.

I'm confused. I'm lost. I'm bitter. I'm afraid.

Don't tell me what to feel. Don't tell me that's not what you want me to be.

I'm forcing this smile for you. Happy now?

Is it pretty enough? Is it real enough? Am I good enough now?

I'm sick of your expectations. I'm tired of what you're trying to force me to be.

I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of you.

Just leave me alone.

Wait no.... Wait yes. Just go. Go.

I'm numb. I can't feel anymore. I'm tired of thinking. Of living. Of surviving even.

The colors are fading away; it's all gloomy skies and sorrow-filled clouds.

Where's the silver lining you promised? Where's the ****** rainbow after the storm? Was that a lie too?

The lights are dimming every so slowly. They're blinking out.

I'll stay awake... Cause it's hard to fall asleep these days.

Hope's all gone now. Sanity's all that is left.

Don't leave me. Please don't. I can't do this all alone.

Someone... save me if you can.

I'm begging you. Anyone out there who's even willing to listen. Help me.

... P l e a s e?

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"And I wonder why -
I tear myself down to be built back up again.
All I hope somehow -
I'll wake up young again.
All that's left of myself -
Holes in my false-confidence.
And I'll lay myself down -
And hope I'll wake up young again."
False Confidence - Noah Kahan

There's a party over there that never ends,
Be happy, if you're not invited
Over there,
They slowly wilt away
and fester at each others shortcomings
Competitions are held daily to see whose anguishes hold more weight,
Over there,
You'll find nothing but doubt,
Filled with long sullen stares of lamentation
Couples routed,
Family's torn,
A circus of comparison, sorrow, and further scorn
There's a party over there that never ends,
If you have to visit, go,
Just don't stay long

Wanting to be the one to speak her name as mine.
It's like a stare off,
All alone.
It's like a competition,
On your own.
It's like getting stuck,
In open space.
Why do i enjoy this one-sided love?
If it burns.
If it is away.
If i am lost,
I do not seek for shelter,
I seek for pain.

Smile
A day without it
is a wasted day.
It´s a day conquered
by some darkness within.
Don´t let it get to you.
Show it you´re strong.
Show it what you can achieve.
Don’t let it succeed.
Let yourself
have one of those
that are special and true.
Enjoy it,
because its yours.
It´s a trophy
only for you to see
because when others watch
they don’t notice what is behind.
If its true,
if it has meaning,
if it is real,
then it yours to cherish
and yours to retain.
Be fond of it,
after all its unique.
Smile

I was born in spring
above a silent stream.
Called on by an ancient king
to serve after winter’s dream.

We fought a many battle.
Braved storms and other misery.
Always the obedient cattle
until death or glorious victory.

Time moved like the water below.
Day and night in constant flow.

I held on till the end
seduced by a promised land.
A place of plenty and open doors
across the distant ocean shores.

Then I fell, all brown and brittle
into the river’s icy wave.
I drifted happily for a little
before I sank to my murky grave.

Find the thing that spits your soul open

And welcome it.

Life will never ,
Let you sit back.
It always keeps you,
      on move.
It's agreement of disagreements,
dancing on its groove.
Pain, agony, and
feeling of despair.
Every fair chance,
is there to repair.
It's a bundle of
Glee, euphoria & delight.
Need a right move..........
and embrace it tight.