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Jenay Long Mar 2019
Song Suggestion : Blasphemy - Bring Me The Horizon / Bury Me Face Down - Grandson


Why must I feel this way?

Why am I surrounded by so much darkness? Why do I have to know so much pain?

Tell me - why am I so filled with hate?

I'm tired. Tired of the chaos that is my mind.

It's fraying at its fragile seams, ready to tear apart.

Am I even alive any more?

It feels like I'm falling with no end in sight. Spiralling so far downwards.

Will any one save me? Will any one drag me out of my messed-up mind - out of this darkness?

Does any one care enough to even try?

I can't. I just can't anymore. I'm done.

So filled with doubts. Stuck with the fear I immured within my own self.

I'm confused. I'm lost. I'm bitter. I'm afraid.

Don't tell me what to feel. Don't tell me that's not what you want me to be.

I'm forcing this smile for you. Happy now?

Is it pretty enough? Is it real enough? Am I good enough now?

I'm sick of your expectations. I'm tired of what you're trying to force me to be.

I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of you.

Just leave me alone.

Wait no.... Wait yes. Just go. Go.

I'm numb. I can't feel anymore. I'm tired of thinking. Of living. Of surviving even.

The colors are fading away; it's all gloomy skies and sorrow-filled clouds.

Where's the silver lining you promised? Where's the ****** rainbow after the storm? Was that a lie too?

The lights are dimming every so slowly. They're blinking out.

I'll stay awake... Cause it's hard to fall asleep these days.

Hope's all gone now. Sanity's all that is left.

Don't leave me. Please don't. I can't do this all alone.

Someone... save me if you can.

I'm begging you. Anyone out there who's even willing to listen. Help me.

... P l e a s e?


"And I wonder why -
I tear myself down to be built back up again.
All I hope somehow -
I'll wake up young again.
All that's left of myself -
Holes in my false-confidence.
And I'll lay myself down -
And hope I'll wake up young again."
False Confidence - Noah Kahan
Jenay Long Mar 2019
She stumbles crookedly, confused by the pure hatred in their eyes,
She cries, afraid of the blood slowly seeping from sliced palms and soles.
She reaches out, only to be scorned by those who are to love her,
She covers her ears, as rage-filled words, echoes incessantly, cutting deeper into the wounds.
She hides in her own little dark corner, as she feels the pain their powers bring.
     Aren't villains the only ones that
     They should hurt?
     Does that make her one then?
She falls deeper, deeper down the rabbit-hole - deeper into the toxicity that is her life,
She scars harder; becoming more wretched, surrendering to the demons that haunt her.
She's disregarded by the powerful; she's scorned by the weak.
Its  s e m p i t e r n a l.
     "You cant become the hero."
She knows this, known it for so long now.
      No; everyone says she cant be the hero -
      Why not be the villain instead?
                                                        ­      By: Jenay Long
Originally made for a book idea, now an individual poem. After all if you can't be the hero - become the villain instead

— The End —