I stand on a cliff,
at the edge of the world.
Letting the wind and the sky envelop

me.

I run for it.
I run for the adrenaline and the life.
The ground breaks beneath
my feet

I float with the air,
the sun is in my hands.

The world crumbles.
Nevermind,
the stars still look after me

even as I
awake.

I am trying to stop looking for you
signs or silence, there's nothing to decipher
no run-ins or coincidence
I don't even know if it'd satisfy
a glimpse of a life
that still holds out hope
for me, for us
because for all I know
that doesn't exist anymore

I can't quite place my rage
if you can even call it that
angry at your optimism in us,
in what you were capable of
angry with myself for letting you in
angry that I tried, again
only for it to end the same way

even if you can feel it
you never know
when it will be the last time
when it will end
not really
kiss them a second longer
linger in the doorway
look back and wave
love with all you have
whenever you can
you never know

You never want a friend
Making one
Too good lest the friendship ends
When they realise you're not fun
Or smart or pretty
Enough when they meet others
On another
Whole new level.
It's human nature to
Want to come first, don't you
Think? Because being somebody's
Number one is the only
Thing that came to me
Thinking about what I want in life
The other night
And I know it's not right
To think like this
But if you've ever felt this way before
You'd know
There's no
Point in trying anymore.

If nothing matters and we all die in the end. Why can't we make what little living we have, good?

We sit by the shore,
The sky softly burns with hues of amber
You gaze at the horizon,
I gaze at you,
And between us, the wind carries silence.

“The sunset is beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask softly
You smile,
Hiding the ache at the edge of your lips
“Yes,” you finally reply.

“But like all beautiful things, it, too, must come to an end.”
You fall silent,
Yet your eyes said it all
I know you understand,
This isn’t just about the sunset,
But about us,
Slowly fading, like the sun descending into its rest.

“My part here is done,”
I murmured to the wind,
Hoping it would carry away my words
“My role ends now,”
You turned to me, your face searching for answers,
But neither of us spoke,
Because deep down, we both knew—
This was the final chapter.

The sky darkened,
And I stood,
My feet heavy, but my heart heavier
I knew we couldn’t hold onto the sunset forever.

“I have to go,” I say softly
You don’t stop me, you only nod gently
And as the sun finally disappears
I walk away,
Leaving you beneath the shadow of the night.

and now is just the end of something i cannot begin again
my jaws clenched,
suitcase packed and anxious to leave
leave behind the stories
that made you whole,
made you your present self,
leave behind the promises made in may,
the goodbyes frozen in august.
and now the ending is so clear
denial seems impossible of an option,
build up the walls again,
the walls built from fear
hide your body
if you lose it, never was it worth it
lose the weight of progression
start a new world you cannot dismantle
dismantle love, make it unrecognizable
unable to be recognized through a shoulder brush
just another universe, unable to be kept
keep the words to yourself,
swallow the sting of loss
trample the persistent pangs of hunger for the things memory cannot reach
hide until the hiding spot becomes a home
soft and harmless
abandon the idea of forgiveness for yourself,
yourself the one past forgiving.
disappear into the smog,
suitcase in hand,
barely lifted off the ground.
this is the end of something i just cannot bring to begin again.