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Vianny Sujo Aug 2015
Trigger warning made me smile,
all the bones in my body craved to show,
all the blood in my veins wished to run free.
And then I found myself awake in the middle of the night
wishing for the impossible.

Trigger warning romanticized the struggling,
my blood was red like love,
my hunger made me perfect,
throwing up was liberating,
punching myself were like hugging,
bruises shaped hearts up and down my arms.

Trigger warning reserved a hospital room just for me,
left me unconscious for three days.
Trigger warning taught me how to swallow pills,
how not to eat a thing,
how to keep smiling while bleeding,
where to lay down the blade,
when to lie to my therapist.

Trigger warning makes me cry,
trigger warning leaves me shivering on the bathroom floor,
trigger warning makes my stomach sick,
trigger warning breaks my bones,
trigger warning makes my wrists bleed.

Many people say that love is handing someone else a gun
and point it to your head hopping that they won't pull the trigger.
I didn't gave away my gun,
and now I know I should have,
it would be less dangerous,
because now I spend the nights pointing to my head
hopping that someday I'd have the guts to pull the trigger.

Trigger warning broke my mom's heart,
trigger warning left my body empty and bruised,
trigger warning cut my wings and tied my feet.
Trigger warning made me want to die.
Ominous Aug 2015
I want to remember
what it feels like
to see my bones
reaching the sky
while i'm stuck in
this rotten pit bottom.
always anxious Aug 2015
Why is it that when you're sick enough.
Recovery feels like the sickness and the relapses feel like recovery?
Allyson Walsh Aug 2015
Come a little closer and you will soon see
Run your fingers along the cracked parts of me

The cracks etch my thighs, hips, and *******
Each crevice: white, purple, and ruby red

What once was flat and smooth has changed
Bulges and ripples: new landscape

Voices continue to point my flaws out to me
The mirror screams failure; I choose recovery

Previously, these porcelain walls were kept neat
Prim and polished on the inside – pink squeaky clean

Now, this doll is filled with laughter and cheesecake
But the cracks in my mask are all on display

He tells me he loves every part of me
And stretched skin is a part of my story

But I cannot tell if I’m breaking my “perfect” shell
Or if I want to go back to my personal hell
For myself and the voices I hear every time I look in the mirror
Ominous Aug 2015
Destruction looks like a statue
and i'm here
staring at it
with the eyes of a child
when they see a brand new toy
even when they own it already.
Ominous Aug 2015
And then
you look at yourself in the mirror
for the third time
and say:
it smells like ***** still.
LovelyBones Aug 2015
I've always hated math, yet numbers take control
The number on the scale, if I reach a goal
I don't really eat food, it's just a number now
It all happens so fast, I just don't know how
Measuring and counting, tracking everything
Feeling satisfaction, instead of suffering
Pain turns to success, that number coming down
Wreaking havoc, turning your life around
Nothing really matters, all I want is bones
But everything's inside, and no one has to know
What starts off as a simple, 2 or 3 pounds
Can leave your pile of bones, rotting in the ground
always anxious Jul 2015
She started doing exercises so she could be stretchy.
So she could be ****.

She started putting on makeup so she could be pretty.
So she could be perfect.

She started starving herself so she could be thinner.
So she could be a winner.

She started cutting so she could they'd all notice her.
So she'd with her demons concur.

She hang herself so she wasn't in the way.
So she didn't have to stay.
madelyne knoll Jul 2015
Inhale. Hold. Exhale.
Inhale. Hold. Exhale.
Let the thick smoke cool before you take it into your lungs.
Repeat until everything goes away...

Or until you're too dizzy to stand.
Something someone says reminds you of something you tried to forget, so you pretend to be enthusiastic about the drinking games.
You pour your shots a little higher than everyone else's.
Repeat until everything goes away...

Or until you're trying to ***** silently.
Tell them it's food poisoning. They know it's not.
Watch their eyebrows curve with pity and concern.
Don't tell them you're trying to disappear.
Repeat until everything goes away.
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