These days,
I find myself searching
for gentle streams
that once flowed in my dreams
but have since dried up.
The reservoir empty of freshness.

Doesn't stop me walking
along the dead riverbeds
and listing to the water.
Can't be much farther
til I find a new source.
I don't want
to force anything
but merely seek the return of life

Maybe Robin will return
to me
and we can continue our chats
by the banks of the river.
I was never a diver
but a giver,
which I suppose
is the same.
Plunging myself into something
and giving it all I got.

Never truly
an altruistic act
as I secretly and selfishly
wanted to be noticed.
Even the acoustic comments
would suffice.
Is that wrong?
Or
Are we all rolling the same dice?
it's nice to receive praise
but if you're raised
to only want that
then maybe that's not healthy
I suppose
we should be wealthy
in the acknowledgment
of the ones that truly care
than to the
faint praise of strangers

That's where the danger lies
picking the lather.
Better to climb the ladder
one step at a time
in company
than great leaps alone.

But I digest.
I've stumbled off the path
with this talk of ladders.
Lost in myself
once again.
That's the cost of being a wanderer
Hard to navigate
through a sea of trees,
all ivy covered.
Who knows what
lively monsters have hovered
where I stood.
How many times have I been
hoodwinked in thinking
I'm alone?
Each blink of an eye
and I'm sure they run by me
lurking away
hidden from sight

They can stay there
for all I care.
Tonight isn't about
looking for a fight
but a river.

Impossible
to think straight without it.
It was my anchor
held me down
and           stopped            me
flowing away in a stream
of consciousness
lost forever
in
meaninglessness

Oh River, why have you dried up?
Why have you died?
I need you now
but
you are not here
to wash my tears away,
to clean me of doubt
or take away my fears.
I miss your fresh
cleansing waters
often felt on flesh.

Water was the elixir
to heal.
And to peal skin,
reveal my real sin,
so I may feel.
But
This elicited elixir
is no more.
A closed door
so we remain poor

Oh River, why have you left me?

I was on the verge of falling
into pieces
telling myself there's nothing
for me to hold on
thinking to myself i was better
off dead
rather living in this world
that's full of weeping and
sadness

There i was on the edge
of breaking
feeling suffocated
i can barely breathe
then came an angel reaching
out his gentle hand
"Hey, nice to meet you", he said.

I was full of doubts but you
convinced me
I've never trusted anyone but you
changed it
slowly my feelings towards you
blossomed
and as i got to know you
even more
each time i fall even
harder

You were there for me
in every step of the way
when i'm lonely
you would accompany me
when i'm feeling down
you were the one who would
turn my frown upside down

And when i needed a shoulder
you'll be the one
no matter what i do
you'll always be there to
help me through

You showed me your flaws
so i showed you mine
we shared secrets that we swore
to forever keep inside

You began to appear inside my mind
too often, too much
your smirks and smiles drove me wild
your stares and touch gave me
butterflies

This feeling was new
i was really confused
so i asked myself
"is this what love does to you?"

so i kept this love buried
inside my heart
for my mind was still full of doubts
will your love for me be
as strong as mine?
or will my love for you
only stay in my heart and mind?