The lake was crystal blue,
I watched you toddle away.
Freshly pressed burgers laid across the grill,
I sat and watched my family.
A lover's playlist on my iPod,
A nylon stadium chair supports me.
Yes, this is how life is supposed to be.
Mommies and daddies and babies blankets.
It was all a pipe dream.

You held our hands, both so tightly.
Pulling me out and your father in.
Standing in the door frame, crying.
The door has to close, my sweet.

Tiny hands splayed across the window pane,
Watching her memories fade into a rusted red Jeep.
Black tires squealing and pebbles flinging,
He goes, he goes.
The door is closed, my sweet.

Standing in the doorway,
Years go by in a flash.
A little girl stands waiting,
For her red jeep to come back.

1/16/2016

He's always bought his heart's desires, the ATM his cupid.
Last week he sent a blank greeting card, check included.

Gather around
and hear me preach.
Open your eyes
and see me teach
'bout a guy and girl
about fifty each
who to each other
the life they leech

Of so called love
they built a life
two chidlren a home
barely a strife.
But a silent intruder
an unseen knife
would come in between
this man and wife

The love they shared
was nowhere to see
when distractions ran out
and pride ran free,
not even their child's
heartbroken plea
could melt the ice
between he and she

Some years passed
of this icecold fight
they started to move
avoiding their sight
no talking or sharing
less turn on their spite
their children ignoring
it all out of fright

But they stayed together
in good times and bad
even though in most of them
someone got mad
their children learned
how to be  good lads
but also found out
that love's really sad

The message here is
that where love starts
it wont grow and continue
without work from its parts
Learn form this couple
and their hatred darts
In the end they left
four broken  hearts

In the end they left
four broken hearts.

I don't understand anymore why my mother acts the way she does. She is a ***** who doesn't care about anyone but herself. If she doesn't like something, it doesn't happen. She hates my father and his girlfriend. I call my father's girlfriend my stepmother because it's easier than explaining that their not married nor do they plan to (6 years and counting.) She screamed at me for hours telling me that she's not my stepmother (I cried myself to sleep). I say it for convenience. My mother's a total *****, but I wonder if that's hereditary.

How is the ex treating you?
Somedays it's a bit like a zoo,
Recriminations and regrets,
People you'd rather forget,
Amicable divorce not self-evident,
Happy-ever-after so  not manifest,
Added to your survivor baggage,
All part of your mental luggage!
Somedays, it is a bit like a zoo,
How is the ex treating you?

i am young and i am weak
my life is progressing and i'm afraid i'm being left behind
though i have no motivation to try and catch up
my memories of family dinners consist of shouting and more shouting
accompanied by the distinct feeling of my body slowly beginning to explode from the inside out from the frustration of never being able to make it stop
all i wanted was dead silence
all i got was a painfully loud abyss that devoured my entire being in flames of anger that i'm still hoping will one day fizzle out
i was certain i would never want to have another one again
but my father is in europe with the new woman in his life
worrying that he's begun to neglect his children that have become too accustomed to change to even notice if he doesn't call as often as before
and my mother is staying the night at a man's house that she hardly knows
something she would've insisted she would never be the type to do
and this kitchen table that has sat vacant for two years forces me to realize that the sounds of hatred and shouting are like a lullaby to me
and god knows i need some sleep

You met him at a party in two thousand seven.
He cheesily asked if you had fallen from heaven
You laughed and said "is that the best you can do?"
He said I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Despite the silly pick up lines, you agreed to dance all night
He walked you home and at the door you gave him an invite
You were kissing til the sunrise and he promised you to call
You texted your best friend, saying, "for this guy, I could fall"

He asked you out the next day, you were excited as can be
You walked hand in hand in the park and carved your names into a tree
Everything felt so perfect and you knew he'd be the one
That would make you feel that with every other guy - you're done

After one year of dating , he asked you to be his
You happily shouted out "YES!" and gave him a big kiss
In a white church you were married, wearing a white dress
It was the wedding you've always dreamt of, truly a success

You moved into a big house, after a few years you got knocked up
You were supposed to be happy but you kind of felt locked up
It was the life you've always imagined, everything was going well
Yet you felt so suffocated, as if you were imprisoned in a cell

You were stuck in a rut, but too comfortable to change it
You knew what it would take but you still wouldn't arrange it
In your big house you were stuck, feeling miserable and numb
But if someone asked you how you were doing you held up your thumb

The sparks that once flew around you, have burnt out long ago
When you were making love, in his eyes there was no glow
You used to be his muse but now you're just his spouse
The passion you once shared is buried beneath the house

A crack trailed down
The center of my heart
When I saw my dad cry
As his world fell apart

I remember him sitting
On the living room floor
Crying as his wife told him
He can't see his kids anymore

I got down beside him
And hugged him so tight
Wishing that I could make
Every thing right

But mommy was leaving
And taking us along
So he told us he loved us
And said to be strong