When I had my first swimming lesson
My instructor told me
I was a feather
Afloat the shallow end of the pool

But this is not a swimming lesson
Nor is there an instructor
I am a heavy weight
Ready to dive into a treacherous sea

You are the sea
The water
And everything in it

I am ready to dive into you
Soul first
I just hope I don't drown

A fall from the sky,
better than any angel,
and no need for wings,
to arrive in my waiting arms
filled with adrenaline love.
A gift to my eyes,
like rain pouring over
a dry savanna,
pooling into watering holes
for my parched soul.

Falling used to mean
plummeting, parachuteless,
toward an abrupt end.
Now it's more like floating,
knowing the return to Earth
will hold more,
that we will arrive safely,
gracefully,
and keep on lovin'.

Diving into yourself.
This is what you need.
Diving every day into the soft and sharp sides of your soul.
- Manuela Camporaso

It's like my heart can't contain you.

It's like I've let go of what was needed to let go of

to let you in.

And it's beyond my expectations
like slipping my feet into the beach

and finding my toes
underneath soft, warm sand
warmed by the sun.

And for so long I've denied myself
happiness.

And for so long I've forced this picture that what I want

is better than what I truly need.

And I'm trying to understand why I had to give up one failed romantic relationship

in order to find another that is a hundred times better.

I realized that I had fallen

in love with my own poetry

I'd fallen in love with myself again and again and again

never truly allowing myself to fall
in love with anyone in reality
because my fantasies were so much better.

And then I met you

the beach, the sand, the cold lip of water lapping against my ankles
the submersion of water, salt, seaweed, and foam

your warm hand in my own
fingers latching

the beautiful sunrise
softly, strongly touching
a horizon stretching so many miles away but in one swift look

I saw balance. I saw joy. I saw the colors I've always loved and hoped to see one day.

It's like my heart can't contain you.

And the ocean is calling me home.

That giant expanse of glistening water reflecting the sun's willful welcome as a new day begins

so daunting so beautiful so overwhelming in its stark grandness

so familiar this feeling.

It's like I've known you for a very long time.

It's like I've found myself smiling with the waves now pressing against my gut

white sea foam dissolving quickly
tickling my torso
making me laugh
loud belly laughs
mouth stretched wide and daring
teeth showing
eyes crinkling
body shaking
legs trembling

The ocean of your love

is calling me home.

Am I ready to dive deeper?
Am I ready to submerge not just my torso but my head as well?
What if I can't breathe underwater?
What if I can't open my eyelids?

It's like my heart can't contain you.

But then I touch my neck

and find gills.

But then I touch my eyes

and find goggles.

And then I know

that I'm ready to dive.

As I stand there preparing I'm wearing a face staring off into my own world

The board flexing and bouncing the announcer announcing its my turn
In my head I'm thinking will I succeed or will I burn

As I walk I think of every correction, all directions my coaches gave me
I go and it went well but you still can't tell with the judges opinion

But as I dive deep into oblivion everything fades..

The dive the meet how I should compete my team my coaches the approaches the world around me, everything

As I'm in the water looking around I forget everything. I feel the peace I have tried to reach and as the calm comes I am finally at rest

There is no test in the water deep below, you can be whatever you wish nothing bestowed

That is the reason I love to dive, that's why I strive.

With a leap of faith, you take the plunge deeper
Into your sea of fears, trying to out-swim The Sleeper