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He asked about me in the first meeting.
he was so curious to know the whole time, we were talking.
what should I tell, what should I hide?
my life is so confusing it never was a joyride.

being emotional, I end up hurting.
I am not the one who loves flirting.
believe in giving all or nothing
every time it's easy for me to trusting.

failed so many time yet not learning,
As soon as I become comfortable life starts turning.
got ditched so many times still friendly.
Always fall in Pitts more than deadly

Low in confidence, thinking negative.
serve myself for people to take benefit.
knowing yet not doing anything for the betterment
world is moving fast and talk about empowerment.

with all these flaws I still, love myself
those who cheat will pay themself.
I won't change, I never become you.
will always be loyal and to myself true.
Fheyra May 2020
Merry, merry— thou filled a hummingbird's tone
Funny, funny— how sottish thy head on stone.

Amazed by blue lights, I swoon and stretch my arms
Looking back, my cottons on grass— ditched my charms.

To assume a side of a well-known— she greets
Received in one sight,— slowly, she falsely meets.
Awkward times can be weird and funny.
The third couplet(stanza) is the one that I experienced. Just imagine the awkwardness when you greet someone you thought you knew, inside a vehicle, that would really cause a blush in a shy thought.
You can all share your awkward moments, if you want😅
Give me something,
I just need anything I can get,
To try to heal it.
I'm trying my best,
Not to forget how to be without it.

I am searching the lines,
Creating new stanzas,
In a hopeless attempt
To get it all together again.

Lately I'm starting to see
Myself seeking attention,
Even if ever so slightly.
I realise I've clung onto things tight,
That make me feel needed,
Those who paid me attention,
And then those same people who then did the opposite:
Because everyone gets bored eventually.

Now I feel like I'm just waiting,
For someone else to forget me,
Another person saying **** it they don't need me.
In addition for a while now,
I've felt my siblings slowly slipping away and away further
To him.

But that's not what this is about,
This is about how self centred I am,
Once again, I guess it will always come back then.
The past years seem to be a sequence of:
Thinking I'm better,
When really I'm just changing the order of the pattern,
I'm just expressing it in different ways.

But I don't know how many more strategies I have left.
Àŧùl Apr 2016
Not only like a real guardian,
But more dedicated than a real father,
A dutiful lover is always,
Thinking of new ways,
Happier can be his lover.

I thought as one for her too, but,
As she was sick of my mature advice,
She ditched me for someone else,
In my eyes tears swell but fail to fall.

Yes, I have moved on.
My HP Poem #1058
©Atul Kaushal
Vanilla Sep 2017
Pink
Was the color of my shirt
and the color of your dress
Your best friend's a heartless *****
And about you, no one gives a ****
But the one person that loves you
That would give up anything for you
You ******* ditch, right?
**** a night with me, right?
Who the **** wants to go out with me, right?

Red
Is the color of my black heart
And the Roses I got you
As I typed that I almost punched my screen
All I want to do is ******* scream
I feel betrayed, ripped apart
I've been abandoned
All I ever ******* do is wait for you
But I'm a *******, right?
You never asked for this, Right?
Àŧùl Jun 2017
Many times before I got committed,
Inside my mind I discussed it,
Should I desist from loving her,
Should I take care of myself first,
Indeed she was very much young,
Never I thought she was immature,
Gripped lightly her arms so tender.

Hues of crimson red now exist,
Effort to string them together,
R**oses of the memories of her.
My HP Poem #1584
©Atul Kaushal
Àŧùl Apr 2017
You had ditched me,
Not out of love for someone else,
But due to boredom.

Not due to my nature,
You're bored of my faithfulness,
Just due to your vice.
My HP Poem #1506
©Atul Kaushal
Àŧùl Dec 2016
Now I know why she ditched me,
And I don't blame her for doing so.

Her family checked my horoscope,
They figured that I have a problem.

My horoscope has the Martian jinx,
My Kundli has the Manglik dosh.

It means my wife would die early,
Yes according to an algorithm.

Such a stupid illogical reason,
Letting the stars govern them.

I can not do anything about it,
Let her go to someone not Manglik.

I will wait for someone more scientific,
Looking not at the Kundli but only my love.
This Manglik thing is a Hindu blind faith misconception that if a person has an error in the location of Mars in their horoscope (or a Mangalik) then it would mean certain early death of their life partner.

Let her go.

She's really stupid.

Just as her old-fashioned family she believes in Kundli.

My HP Poem #1347
©Atul Kaushal
Àŧùl Dec 2016
I** thank you for showing your true colors.

Dott sure I'm now that you're not true,
Am I in need for more cheating,
My happiness is in love - true love,
Not in your way of life - fake love.

Your hits I've taken to the heart,
Of hell you have shown me a glimpse,
Under your unfaithful behavior corrupted.

The person who you cheated me with,
Of course he is at bigger blame than you.

He sure is the bigger player,
Even you are such a poser,
Lame he is - you look uglier,
Living life freely you have ruined it.
HP Poem #1310
©Atul Kaushal
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