I hear you speak
way back when
but your lips
never move

the street lights dim
behind the glass
and the tires scream
beneath us

you see me
but I can’t tell
if you’re looking at me
or through me

because the lights
get eaten up
in your eyes

I can’t breathe
the world is so small
and my head is too heavy
and my heart is still

I sing
and you turn on the radio

black white noise
like your mouth.
~ a.h.

All I want is our Molly nights,
and falling in love in the dim black lights.
My head in your lap, staring into your eyes,
lost in your smile. I'm hypnotized.

I keep the details dim
So on the outside looking in
Nothing is as at seems
Everything just beams
It all seems so copacetic
But it's really so pathetic
Before long I'll need a paramedic

Dim lights
Deep voices
Darkness all around
Faces floating
Floor shaking
Heart shattering to the ground
No control
All alone
Left with no one there
Danger coming
People shoving
Left lifeless with none to hear

I sit and stare
Wondering why
You left this mark on me
I have to breathe
See my steam
You need to leave my body
I drop down
To the ground
Far from time and saving
Temperature rises
Heartbeat slows
To a line of nothing more

Maybe, when rain comes
dancing over the death of sunshine
The memories will slowly dance
Within the rhythm along the street
As dim and dark as the dying truth
And its trepidation.

Dec, 16 2015.

There’s something wrong
With the rain tonight,
Not quite right
And unattended –
Desolate little drops,
A plenty and falling,
Or leaping,
As suicide’s now stained –
The houses, the trees,
The tollbooths, the tires
And doldrums my feet now reside.
In angst over wet, these lesser and
Imagined crimson,
I encounter a wind,
Quite possibly a whisper,
But a chill to remind bone –
That we all end someday
And we’ll all be ended
Someday
As well.

Hope has finally ended

And pain into it’s bed once again

It’s more beautiful when the skies finally set its dim

To be reminded that pain was once more real

If ever the valley would sing lullabys

Let it sing once again

Though pain is once and will be lost

It’ll be not as painful as it is before

Sometimes it is bright to see

That even the stars would loose its light

Even birds will loose their flight

And even oceans will never to be sight

You tricked me
Made me believe there was something
Yet, here I am
With no light to guide me
Feeling like nothing
I loved you, still do
But something's changed in you

I thought you were a lighthouse
Out of reach, maybe
But guiding me to safety...
Turns out you were the wind
Causing waves of hurt
To crash over me

Now the light has dimmed
And I can't find my way
Not without you
But you led me astray
I'm drowning, dying,
I can't breathe
And "I'm sorry" was all you had to say

I don't need you
I've seen others sail on their own
How hard can it be?
But my muscles are weak
My lungs are filling with salt
That spills out of my eyes
I can't do this alone

But that's how you've left me
To fare the dreadful ocean waves
With a broken sail and no mast
Joining lost souls in watery graves
Because your bright light never shone past

You're dead inside
I see it now, clear as the light
You stole from me
There was no lighthouse,
Just me, chasing after a dream
That I didn't really need
And now there's only darkness
As far as I can see

On fire
I spark, I flare
I have roared and danced,
with each passing day my flames fall.
but with each fighting breath my heart burns to jump and race.
Always so slowly my lights seem to dim.
With all these flames I wear, not a one of you have noticed I'm burning.
Maybe we are all on fire too.
Maybe I burn alone.