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you feel so alone, but
they're always watching, waiting.
for you to make your move, it's just
you can't begin

and all your thoughts are flooding in
sweeping your mind free of your cruelest sin

you wonder
("will they ever let me go")

"they won't."
they whisper in your ear,  laughing
at your discontent
you belong to them now

they
        will
                never
                ­            let
                                  you
           ­                                go
                                 your  
                      theirs
             now
I hear them calling, she said.

with her open mouth she joined the screaming crowd in her mind.
she wasn't alone now.

I can see them reaching out, she cried!

everyone appeared to be seeking her bursting mind.
she felt it all so deeply,
she was an ocean, flooding over everyone with her pain

they all wonder with danger seeping from their shut eyes.
she devoured them, with every closed lid,
with her broken mind
she pulled out her heart, to be alone
she stopped breathing.

how express, they whispered.
oh, she suffered beautifully they exclaimed.
how admirable.

it was easy for them to go about their day.

*easy.
lie
there's nothing left of tomorrow.
you've been consumed by your own sorrow

where do I go, where can I stay
I wasn't even sober, for just one day

i'm sick of the lie
it's time to say goodbye.
I miss your arms around me
your hands
your glazed eyes

I want your body next to mine
I want you to go in deep, and never leave
you're my sunshine in a blue world
I need to breathe you into me
when no one knows my name

I'll take a ride, to places I don't know
I'll wreck your town and your family name.
I'll take your boy, and show him a good time
I'll take your sister for a ride on the wild side.

I'm the life of the party, and no one can trip without me
I'm the paralyzed dancer with a mind that'll destroy you
I'm black and white, and that takes the pain away
I'm your addiction.
I can taste the alcohol on your breath
your clothes are soaked in the fumes of your cigarettes

this is why I called you
tell me you love me.

I love you

you're bleeding
we got in a fight
I'm hurt, I'm drunk and he threw my life far away from me
I can't go back to the party
I cried for help, no one would help me
I ran through the woods, stumbling

this is why I called you.
tell me you love me.

I love you

he bruised me,
then left me sobbing in a field full of nightmares
I'm drunk and I smell of smoke, I don't know where to go

baby,
I have spoons and fire.
let me take your arm,
only if you want it
it's love in a arm *****.

this is why I called you,
you take the pain away
  Jul 2014 Kayauna Rose Freeman
GC
my breath smells like whiskey,
my clothes smell like smoke,
you told me i smell like i could use a ride home.

driving, driving.
you passed my road.
no, babe, it's up here, I know where to go.
don't call me that, don't, don't.
where are you going?
then the car slowed.

my parents will call soon,
where is my phone?
you dropped it on the floor, babe, right by your toes.
i can't find it, where is it?
they'll think i'm alone.
you've got me with you, babe, don't fuss,
I'll get you home.

what are you doing?
babe, I’m just stopping for a smoke.
you light your 100s
but i just want to go home.
babe, it's hot, why don't you take off your clothes?
please, please. don't,

don't.

would you put out your cigarette?
i'm going to smell like smoke.
you were smoking all night, babe, I don't like your tone.
why are you unbuckling? can't you just go?
shut up, babe, will you? don't you want to get home?

my pleas, so muted and alone,
screamed at you to stop while i inhaled your cologne.
your body was warm, intentions hard as stone,
you unzipped my shorts,
your hands were ice cold
and sent paralyzing shivers down to my bones.
i wanted you to stop but how could you have known?
you never gave me a chance to tell you
that i just wanted to go home.
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