Stop breaking my heart
(Benji) Uh huh (Yeah)
Baby, you better stop playing with my heart
I'm tired of trying to play this part
I want you so bad
At the same time, I hate you.
Hate how you're playing these games
But I am so addicted to this pain
I love you, then I don't
Sometimes I think of letting you go
But I'm so caught up
In all that you are
I can't give up
Not sure...if this is love
or lust.
All I know is,
I love all the feelings
You're giving me
But you hardly even notice me
So I'm trying to get your attention
with all my affection
And it's essential
You and I have so much potential...Baby.

I'm walking down a road
(I'll never win)
Fighting for somebody that
couldn't care less about me
It ain't fair, but I guess that's me
cursed to never have the ones
I love the most
Just so I can put all this pain
into words.
And I'm holding back my tears
As I try to tame all my fears
of losing you.

Baby, I can't mend this heart
so please don't break it
at least try to let me down gently
Because all I can do is think of you
and how there is no replacing what you mean to me
And the earth is spinning slowly
my mind can't comprehend leaving you
And I can't pretend I ain't in love with you
because it just isn't working
I'm not working for you either baby.

I'm walking down a road
(I'll never win)
Fighting for somebody that
couldn't care less about me
It ain't fair, but I guess that's me
cursed to never have the ones
I love the most
Just so I can put all this pain
into words.
And I'm holding back my tears
As I try to tame all my fears
of losing you.

Look me in the eye
tell me why, oh why
don't you want me in your life?
Is it because I am unattractive,  girl?
Is it because there are better people
in your world
I could treat you so good
But if it's because I'm not pleasing to the eye
If I got plastic surgery would you change your mind?
Although who am I kidding, you're so not worth it
But at the same time, I need you by my side
And I can't get you out of my head
And oh dear god...I wish you never left
Because I can't bear to see my heart break again
And I can't bear seeing you be played by all these men

I'm walking down a road
(I'll never win)
Fighting for somebody that
couldn't care less about me
It ain't fair, but I guess that's me
cursed to never have the ones
I love the most
Just so I can put all this pain
into words.
And I'm holding back my tears
As I try to tame all my fears
of losing you.

Oh baby don't break my heart
Let's run this back to the start
Because I want you in my life
Babe, I can picture you as my wife
I'm tired of fighting
There is no more room for crying and lying
Let me in, Give me a chance to prove
That I can be your man
So I can prove I mean every word,
I've said to you baby
Baby stop hating on me, Let me in
Baby lets lay down out guns
Let's take a moment
we can become one
Let's work it out
I've come too far
to give up on you now
and you're irreplaceable honey
oh so don't break my heart
be my shining star

I'm walking down a road
(I'll never win)
Fighting for somebody that
couldn't care less about me
It ain't fair, but I guess that's me
cursed to never have the ones
I love the most
Just so I can put all this pain
into words.
And I'm holding back my tears
As I try to tame all my fears
of losing you.

©2018 Written By Benji James

so brave
so thirsty
so scott gimple

as you boldly go
declining the standard advice
instead you can drink too much
at the christmas party

so brave
so thirsty
so about to bring up bill cosby

to your co-worker's fat and loudly still racist husband
as you sit near the nice black lady who works
at the front desk, smiles at you every morning
and orders all the good stuff for the breakroom

Ive done it again
Let imaginary love scare me away
At the end of the day it was early still,
And its my lack thereof that got you.

Truth is i wont let myself commit,
The little story in my head where im happy never plays out to the end.

I know you couldnt wait forever,
Keep letting me close with no notions of whats to come.

My silence fed your doubts about yourself, why doesnt he see me in his life outside of now?

Truth is i dont know,
My lonliness isnt aware of its transience.
My affection is camouflaged in lustful waves.

Im scared to let myself go.
Im scared to trap you in.

Thoughts that grow from a scarred heart are misshapen and tough.
I know if youd seen the real me,
It wouldnt have been enough.

As I fell and gambled my life so faint,
I took a picture with my eyes closed shut.
A dark pit with colorful butterflies,
Seemingly glowing then disappearing.
I opened my eyes to a field of green,
Of doves' silhouettes that fell from the sky,
With beautiful flowerbeds bathed in red.
Calm and serene was this world of gray skies,
I was relieved as I found my solace.
Joyful red tears of my own woes and cries!
Visions of red turns to black as I laugh...

Something in my brain is not the same
Something in my brain lost it's way.
I'm not sure what it was
I'm not sure what to say,
didnt realize I lost it until it was too late but
Something in my brain walked away.
Where did it go
Where did it stay
What did it leave
What it take?
Does it matter?
Does it mind?
Im not sure
Can't decide.