You gave me this one of a kind feel
Now I shall show you what's real.
You gave me a breath of fresh air
Now I shall show you the trail where love is really hiding.
B U T
I'm tired of walking the same path
Alone
In the cold
No one offered me a warm jacket I can hold.
B U T !  Guess who got blowned on the same road I faced defeat on ?
I thought I was headed down the wrong
Not knowing this is the path that God has me on
Faced with the struggle and built up with so much pain
I couldn't even see the blessings
Slowly
Building uphill
I just have to keep walking, scratching..
Seeking God faster..
Until I master the way I step on the concrete
I
Will
Become
So
Much
Stronger.


©MH

I love you
Your gentle touch
Your nervous giggle
You caring smile

I love you
But I'm not in love

My hand clenches around my heart
Constricting its beating
Forcing it to step in time to the wrong dance

I'm slicing m own soul apart with this quandary
But the knife is so sharp I hardly notice it
I only think of your face
What you will do when I tell you

I love you
But I'm not in love

The hurt pouring from your eyes
Like blood from a wound
Not windows, but floodgates to the soul unable to close

As your eyes furrow
And mouth turns, open in surprise
Glasses a shield for me
Or you, I can't tell

I love you
But I'm not in love

Poetically I'm the best thing you've ever seen and I don't mean to be cocky
I'm not social enough to have friends to stop me
My head is still in the clouds like your favorite rappers baby picture
I paint like the black Picasso but nobody can see my bigger picture
I'm just looking to find my calling in life and hoping I'm poetically gifted enough to have people study my words like bible scripture
Mathematically and scientifically I'm far behind the pack
My love for nursing is still as alive as ever but I think a career for me in nursing is where I take a step back
I can't comprehend the formulas and equations like the others
Maybe I'm not meant to be in the hospital environment like the others
Ink and paper is where my bread could be financially buttered most
I just wanna shine bright like a diamond
And have confidence and stop hiding
Behind my poetic commas
Buy a house for my mama
And make her proud and be a better man than my papa
My life's calling still hasn't called but I'm trying to be patient
It feels like centuries ago I knew what I wanted to do but now it feels ancient
I'm at the crossroads of my life
Unsure whether to cross roads hoping they lead somewhere promising or be a trooper and see this current route to the end and see what'll happen with my life

Empty
Drained
Forgotten
Strained
Pressure
Mistakes
Death and
Fakes
Life challenges us
To face
That in which
Lay behind and ahead

I'm leaving, and it's okay.
Yes I'm leaving, and there's no way anyone's gonna change my mind.

I'm leaving, it's okay.
I'm dreaming, there's no way you can take my mind off of what is mine.

Your truth is to blame for my insecurities. That tugs and traps my heart in a never ending sticking, lashing pain.
  And because of you, I continued to decay inwardly through transparent hurt.   Hurt that gave me the courage to suffer daily despite the effort to conquer the distasteful fear. That built-in machine , that wreckage of my soul.
Dusk til dawn I lay in my cold and wet bed of tears . Giving myself up to the distant voice that fed on my weakness.. Night and day it tormented me, comstantly writing  wistful memo's to  steal my commitments. I was distraught, a wrecking shame to my faith .I was a disappointment to the dignitaries and  a lost cause to my integrities.
I had no hope, being restless and destroyed. I was covered in my own blood. Which bled from my eyes to my toes,that stained and uncleansed my skin . I was in a frenzy for eternity . Pitying myself in confusion. And just when you thought I  was over, at the end of my misery .. I made a decision ... I decided .....no more...