When needs aren't being met through expectation of a future that will be far away behind us ..
When times had flash before my eyes and there's was no turning back to the present time of tomorrow dust..

But my own back was wondering if i was always against leaving
when always grieving on how much to the existed moment feeling that there's  was also much more needing
without it or without you it would not suggested to be believing ..

Pointed where I had envy the moment of  how the way your carelessly cared for the moment we shared ..
But without a doubt, there's was nothing wrong on how we dare to shared about how we never truly believed that it something that would  left us despair ..

As it was only the time to be nearer was seeking to how much existing memories you were to me, but as a dream we were only reaching for the moment we hope to hear of meeting, yet it somewhere I liked to be ..
Yet it stills found greater thing to remember where it ongoing hours ago.. I can't help but wonder if it is that you've  wanted if said don't ever let me go..  

As small a stop sign it can be but it never stop impressing on how much you mean to me ..
When all I can see even if it isn't you and I when there isn't one moment like this I'm dying to tried ..

I’ll be here whenever you’re near because here is whenever it begins again.
Seeing this never ends is a time worth spending it all over as long when it’s over then.

I dont know what ive done
Was it right or Was it wrong?
Had me feeling so right
Now its wrong now youre gone

Cut my feelings off quick
While u were still hanging on

I'm scared that youll be done With us
When i realise the cost

I ******* miss u already
My ride or die forever

Just saying that word
Made you smile for the better

So i never let it off
Never gave u assurance
Not even hypothetical
To make you feel like i noticed

Ive been sabotaging us since
I knew you were too good for me

I know that im no good for u
And with me you'll be ruined - see

I tried to tell u from the start
But never had the courage.

Because i loved you like my baby
But now i put you through this.

This is not fair on you
Its terrible to do it

3 years of memories
Every second spent with you
I blew it.

Every holiday that passes
Is gonna tear me up inside
My emotions in a box
Kept locked up with chains of iron

When i feel the sadness bubble
I try to put it
to the side
Cause the only thing u wanted
Was to make me happy
Right?

The only thing you wanted
Was for me to try but i was too busy
Trying to prove a point
Or add heat to the fight

The only thing you wanted
Is our families be fine
When my mum went ******* you
And you still kept on a smile

No weight or obstacle could
Test you anytime
So I put on extra pressure
Because I didn't use my eyes

And shouted when you broke down
And left you when you cried.
Because im unworthy of your
Love, and it's killing me inside.

Now there's tears till my neck
While im thinking of you
And im thinking this through

Turning back to you has the simplest of truths:
Ill do the same thing
Out of interest for you

Because
I know you dont deserve a
Synthetic fool.

Though; Anything i could do
To savour a moment with you
I would do in a second
To see you enter the room.

If I could go so far back,
To send a note that bears a fact,
That my past self shouldn't crack,
That I said I liked you from awhile back.

But knowing that you liked me back,
Gives me joy that I could crack,
I forgot to tell you that I still like you back,
And now you're headed towards the arms of another girl,

And now I regret and wonder of the things I should've done before.
Until this day I realized that there is no end of this suffering,
Day after day it still continues my sufferings,

Do you want me there, every time you turn over in bed, every room you walk out of and into, in your spot on the sofa, with your remote in my hand?
Do you need a minute?
I'm not sure why people do that, I'm not sure why I want that, if I want that.
Am I being selfish, not wanting to share my space?
But also wanting to share my space.
You invade it, slide into it, spill over my rough edges and then I notice you there, how long have you been there?
I'll share my morning hair, coffee breath and bad singing because I've decided missing you is worse.

Crossing lines
Feeling empty, not happy
Not a Trophy!
At the end.
Mindset bend
Any sense lost
Over pain outmost
Love should be a victory
Now a lost memory..

Another anger filled screaming match transpired today
He wonders if I'm serious about running away
I'd sail all seven seas to rid myself of the cries and the pleas that haunt my waking dreams
Although I'm dramatic
And often problematic
I somehow use my words to my advantage
In order to manage the situation
I mold you like clay
Hoping that one day you'll love me the same way I love you
But it's not true
I'm just lying to myself and protecting my mental health before breaking down
and falling to the ground
Crying and yelling my eyes are swelling with tears of the pain I've felt all these years
And our happy times out weigh the sad but when will the good days out number the bad?
I'm struggling to find my place in your no vacancy heart
I try to express myself to you through this art
But somehow the words slip through the cracks and roll like water off a ducks back
In one ear out the other
I wonder how my words don't completely smother you
And I do what I can so I craft every plan but they fall apart eventually
I don't know who you and I are meant to be but I worry
I can't understand whether you reach out your hand to hold me or hit me
Your words always bit me in a way that couldn't be healed
With each little fight your motives are revealed and I wonder how long you'll put up with me
The soot from our erupting explosive endless fights keeps me coughing in pain and lungs burning each night
Help me to see what I'm doing wrong
Because it's clear I'm confused and taking too long to figure out what I want from all of this
Whether or not your presence is bliss
I need more time to figure you out because in the same moment I'm filled with self doubt
Give me a second to recollect my thoughts
I'm trying my hardest to reconnect the dots
I need to take a really deep breath
Before making a mistake and dancing with death