I need somewhere to roam
where my dark thoughts can be
without judgement.

No one seems to get my humour,
apparently my suicidal thoughts
aren't funny

My cynicism has seeped into my veins
and now my heart beats to its awful cadence
and I've found comfort in its crude caress

You believe as do birds not to sow away
The winter harvests as does the summer
A thief tried to sell you your own jewelry
You said your soul wasn’t a raven or a soldier
He was puzzled by that but still he lingered
You clinched your fist tightly around his voice
And only then could he hear himself breathe
You didn’t care if he died, that was his choice
There is no sense in convincing an old man
Did you think he waited that long for you?
He didn’t want to think about it anyway
It brought him into the wrong space of view
So where does that leave you, without a jacket?
The way you pray should be the way a bird flies
It’s not something I would talk about too much
To speak of it is the way a false prophets lies

I think i want to do something good to you
Something nice
something to show i care
I think i may even say i love you
I never meant it
i guess that is just ok
But do not be restrained
i am actually quite good
I may be super toxic
But i am addictive too
My soul means no real harm
my intentions are real pure
My love is never ending
there is nothing it can't cure
My senseless intoxications
Are just part of a the journey you may embark
Don't be afraid to show your insides
I can't promise i don't bite

I tend to play with the notion of love.
I see people who are in love,
and I wish to know
what it feels like to
cherish the existence of someone,
and to share with them
the most personal parts
of your body and soul.

I often find my cynicism
to ******* my chance
of ever finding someone
who I could love.
I fantasize about love so often,
yet I do so much to-
ruin whatever chance I could have.

I may never love someone-
the way I wish to love someone.

there is no poetry in this,
in the cold cascade of misery upon misery
upon anger
in teen hearts and
brittle limbs,
eyes red and tired and
sleep forgotten in alleyways and
empty glasses.

I am happy for you
Really, I am
I smile for you and I am excited
When you tell me every modicum
Of how he looked the other day
Or your intentional conversations
But I cannot help but feel inside
Like it soon may be over for you
Like it was for me, it always was
And I never want that for you
I want him to be the one you marry
I really hope for your sake he is
I pray you never have to have your heart broken
I pray you never have to live without him
I pray you never feel rejected
But I know your man is different
You chose the right one the first time

you're painting
the kitchen walls
baby duck
yellow.

you have houseplants
despite the lack of
sunlight
but i don't
think you know how
dark it really is.

you painted
my bedroom walls
dark green
i guess you covered
up the words i once
carved in the wall.

florals and snowflakes
now you get the
keyring and
i promise we won't
accidentally break in
like we did to him.

i might be an
incurable cynic
(which i know you
never know how to take)
but i sincerely hope
you're happy here.

i sincerely hope
my pessimism is not
cooling down your
prewarmed house.

i sincerely hope
you never become
jaded by who you
learn people truly are.

and i sincerely hope that
whatever darkness you may
or may not find never dims
your new living room light
or the radiance you've
always carried with you.

As my lungs crinkle and deflate into themselves,
I'm reminded that breathing is easy
I just **** at it.

I hear Lou Dog bark- good dog- and hope he's still out there, biting pornstars because for sure, not all Rastafarian dogs go to heaven. The music's down here.

But you're just the most boring cliche with a pretty face.
And I'm still surprised you're on this side of the dirt.
What a conscience you have.

(Huh?)

Somehow I manage to criticize 
The dust I see in your eye
While I am suffocating under
A pile of crushing beams.

The World Doesn't Care

You are afraid
Leading into a cascade
The World Doesn't Care

Your struggle
That's your trouble
The World Doesn't Care

Show you are afraid
Show your struggle
Cascade
&
Trouble

Clearly define your fight
Grit and show your bite
The World Will Care