I do not trust a happy day
My mind recalls past patterns
And each time hope has come my way
Peeking past life’s parted veil
Singing songs of sweet tomorrows
The weeks that come are always hell
As are the all the years that follow

I do not trust a lover’s promise
For they can be given so easily
I have seen certain hearts shattered
When loving to carefree and happily
I know one cannot pledge eternity
Anything can be broken even the best family

I do not trust a possessor’s passion
Cause in pursuing owner’s pleasures
I have found all things are only passing
For the taking, to give, in the asking
We all tire of the new toy
Sweet things can rot away
Adding one more item to your pile
Won’t save you from your final fate

There is a far darker day ******* me
The shadows tight on my trail
Night will fall sooner than expected
So even when I smile, I do not trust myself
Moods will change, ebbing and flowing
With the winds that keep my armor
Flapping up and down so my scars are showing

The good is just a phase
Then again I could say the same thing
About the bad days coming
Neither are permanent
Only one thing is inevitable

I don’t know how to be normal and most times I don’t care
I could read for hours and contemplate the ups and downs of whats fair
But sometimes I feel a spark of despair
A deep dark longing or apathy beyond compare
Sometimes I feel like death would be grand
Who gives a **** if the normals wouldn’t understand
I get tired of this life and all of its pain
Of the suffering existence is a trifle insane
To walk through this life which is so **** mundane
What do I have to show for this trip but a broken heart and overactive brain

She is gold.
    tender light hangs about her, enticing the universe.
    a few brave droplets escape their cloudy prison,
    gliding down to capture her luminous,
    before shattering into golden fragments upon the pavement.
A blazing furnace.
     she heeded not the warning of the winter wind,
     rather dressing in bare legs,
     their radiating heat thawing icy countenance.
A diamond among rubble.
    her steps choose their own gait,
    neither hasty nor laggard,
    while brief case and worried eye pass her by,
    her mouth yet curves gentle upward.

She soars just above reality.
An angel whose soles are not yet dirtied by the blackness on which the world treads.

I'm sick of being sick of everything


deep red, it burns a hole into my skull

original right? four in the morning, I bet you're crying now
you alienate your friends and revere drug abuse
how ******* original

39, 40, 41, only son, nothing done, faulty one
63, 64, 65, tricky lives, slicker knives, I'm sick, I lie
98, 99, 100, and I dread, and how red, I'm brain dead

I need somewhere to roam
where my dark thoughts can be
without judgement.

No one seems to get my humour,
apparently my suicidal thoughts
aren't funny

My cynicism has seeped into my veins
and now my heart beats to its awful cadence
and I've found comfort in its crude caress

You believe as do birds not to sow away
The winter harvests as does the summer
A thief tried to sell you your own jewelry
You said your soul wasn’t a raven or a soldier
He was puzzled by that but still he lingered
You clinched your fist tightly around his voice
And only then could he hear himself breathe
You didn’t care if he died, that was his choice
There is no sense in convincing an old man
Did you think he waited that long for you?
He didn’t want to think about it anyway
It brought him into the wrong space of view
So where does that leave you, without a jacket?
The way you pray should be the way a bird flies
It’s not something I would talk about too much
To speak of it is the way a false prophets lies

I think i want to do something good to you
Something nice
something to show i care
I think i may even say i love you
I never meant it
i guess that is just ok
But do not be restrained
i am actually quite good
I may be super toxic
But i am addictive too
My soul means no real harm
my intentions are real pure
My love is never ending
there is nothing it can't cure
My senseless intoxications
Are just part of a the journey you may embark
Don't be afraid to show your insides
I can't promise i don't bite

I tend to play with the notion of love.
I see people who are in love,
and I wish to know
what it feels like to
cherish the existence of someone,
and to share with them
the most personal parts
of your body and soul.

I often find my cynicism
to ******* my chance
of ever finding someone
who I could love.
I fantasize about love so often,
yet I do so much to-
ruin whatever chance I could have.

I may never love someone-
the way I wish to love someone.

there is no poetry in this,
in the cold cascade of misery upon misery
upon anger
in teen hearts and
brittle limbs,
eyes red and tired and
sleep forgotten in alleyways and
empty glasses.