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Gracie Anne Jun 2019
Sherri can you hear me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom,
I've got a bunch of pills
And I'm ready to meet my doom.

Sherri can you hear me?
I'm almost ready to die.
I called you for one reason,
I wanted to say goodbye.

Sherri can you hear me?
Please don't call nine-one-one
Nothing can help anymore.
It's all done; I'm done.

Sherri can you hear me?
One, two, three, four.
Counting pills, ready for death
Oh no, they're at the door.

Sherri I gotta go,
The ambulance is here.
My wrists are sliced real bad
And my death is getting near.

Sherri I'm so scared.
Lights and sirens are on high.
They're sticking stickers on my body,
My death will soon be nigh.

Grace can you hear me?
My heart's beating too fast.
I'm seizing, once, twice, three times,
This day will soon be my last.

Grace, stop, stop!
I'm pulling out my needle
Barely aware of what's happening
My body's turning feeble.

Grace, why did you do it?
I'm now being interrogated.
Summit Ridge or Peachford?
To the hospital I am fated.

Mom can you hear me?
It's finally visitor's day.
I'm so anxious, I love you lots
Please mom, will you stay?

Grace did you hear me?
You're going no matter what.
Skyland Trail's the next step,
No ifs, ands, or buts.

Mom can you hear me?
I miss you too much.
Please. come pick me up,
I really miss your touch.

Friends can you hear me?
You're help was invaluable.
A Thank You goes to everyone
My recovery is beyond admirable.
Sherri is my therapist btw
f Jun 2019
when my brain wanders
i’m reminded of pain
all the meds can’t cure it
but they make me more sane

  when i look in the mirror
  and feel nothing
  when i realize i have sad eyes
  tears forming start to sting

    when i count the scars on my body
   shocked and reserved
   i manage to not mind them
   and miss the hurt

     physical pain is euphoric
     reminding me i’m just a human
     cutting brings me breath
     like when i got the wind knocked out of me
  
         this is the cycle i need to break
         i can’t keep feeling pain
         though it’s a familiar friend
         i need to vanquish faith

           i feel the only way to do that
           is to leave this world
           a blip fluke of a human
           just.. forgotten dust

              not dissimilar to the dust in the pills
              keeping me here
              momma give me strength
              i need to feel you near
6 - 25 - 19
Vellichor Jun 2019
I dare you to ask
I dare you to see
But you’re just too scared
You’re afraid of me
You look away as
My scars shine bright white
You avert your eyes
As tears catch the light
But maybe it’s worse
When you stop to stare
When my sleeves ride up
And my skin is bare
I feel your judgement
But I can't decide
Should I scream “I'm fine”
And go run and hide
Or should I stand tall
And meet your harsh gaze
With eyes so jaded
From years of dead days
And dare you to ask
And dare you to see
Are you still too scared
Of what it might be
That haunts these white scars
That tears me apart
That leaves burning cuts
On my arms and my heart
Because I can tell
From the way you stare
You won't dare to ask
I don't think you care
You’d rather just judge
And ignore my pain
Pretend not to see
All its bright white stains
Because that's easy
And easy is right
‘Cause what you can't see
Can't cause any fright
But easy has never
Saved someone’s life
It doesn't make change
It won't end the strife
So meet my gaze now
I dare you to see
To look past these scars
And truly see me
Butterfly Jun 2019
~am I just a dumb make-out girl?~


Am I the one who hears about your feelings or am I the one who you pull against the closet to kiss?


Am I the one who knows when somethings wrong and gets a explanation or am I the one who is dancing with you on romantic music and gives you hugs?

Can I be both?
Will you let me both
Iz Jun 2019
She asks if I want to play a game
So i give her my blade
Since it's the only game i know
Sinking my sorrow in stinging skin
See how far i can cut without
Stars striking me out of reality
Arden Jun 2019
why does no one talk about how scary recovery is
Like being mentally ill is not fun
But I also am terrified to get better because I don’t know
Who I am without depression
I don’t know who I am without self harm
My personality is mentally ill

This is all I've ever know
Self harm is my favorite blanket
Depression is comfort food
And anxiety is the love of my life

And I don’t understand how there are people
Who can get out of bed every morning
How people can be social and not feel
Like a volcano is being forced down their throat  
How people can just raise their hand in class
It just sounds fake and impossible to me

So idk know if I really want to get better  
Because I don't know who I am without this
Lydeen Jun 2019
That awkward moment
        When



You don't even

  Know

                        Why

You

     Started cutting


Again.
Oops
Ken Pepiton Jun 2019
{every body does speak at once, which is why we learn to focus, as if quiet}

dikes were wire cutters in my youth,
probably short for diagonal cutters,
in the blade-making trade.

There is a knack to a clean cutting edge.
Carbon, in diamondic form crystalized in
the whetstone, wet with
golden oil, just a drop,

the edge, one stroke, one way, soft
like pet the kitty
or, yeha, the baby chick. You know, soft.

Except,
ye whet the edge, soft, ye stress the bonds that link the all
oy vey today to the cutting edge,
not the bleeding edge,

steel to steel, and past that, soft touch
carbon point to carbon point, diamond shapes diamond,
softest con nextion, feel the flow hear that dove
sing triptic signals, make make see
(coo coo, too)
So soft, we say
peacemaking is not a noisy occupation.

Fame is less desirible, I mean,
you may
desire less fame, using your may power right,
to regulate surges and urges and impulses
and other flesshy stuff,
**** it, ignot it,
you may, you know.
or not,
while wishing for more money at the moment of need,
the point of lack poking me in my back.

forcing war's phonytian reasons
to cease with this disturbentce, settle down.
Imagine you won.
This is ever after that.
You know, here, at this resting place in life, you must pay attention
to receive instruction for construction of those things you hoped for,
beyond rough draft.

We are not at war with any opposing idea, there are none here.
You words are free to form them but all that shall
remain is the shell the pearl formed in,

when we made those gates. Feynman added the do-over mode,
it only works if you think before you act,
in terms of being.

To be or not is not a quest. One hand clap to the forehead.
Here we are. Thinking the same words in English, and I may be
dead someday.

Ol' fool, he believed some impossiplease, a trap

stab my ****** birth right.
I sit still and don't march as onward christian soldier
damnedright marching of t' war for Jesus sake.

incursions of self-less-ness, soft touches, whispers

do or don't, if then else, see it through, is the end evil,
in your judgement.
Reset, or ride it out, hell is not as believable as you imagine
if you wake up there.

In a fictional world, true rest is an act of trust.
this is worth the test.

Not live, but living. Each sound
even
chosen
symphony beyond belief, take it, take it

he who hesitates is lost, eh. You land in a pile of proverbs,
super positioned motivators planted
since god gnos when and only then

for a flash, upper left quadrant of the primary window
from a FPS POV
then
nothin'. Hell was over and here I am.

That's as close as it seems it may habeen,
we found this thread, it's live, we think, touch it.

--- no child need master every game,
--- nor must any greybeard

Who is making these rules? Ah, you see. When we,
augmentedus, who meant it

when we sought truth, and despised boos for no reason.

Now. Awake by any mortal standard.
Arrogant. Self-called teacher of the safest route I found
to here.

You can hear me and accept insanity as apossible cost, so what.

Ye, gads, ****** did that, he said They (the notusem) shall hate me
for loving you,
so they shall hate you for loving me. Nicht vvvahrrrrr!
He plagiarized Jesus, I think.
That stinks, but

from a certain POV, however the door is knocked upon

curios and kurioso or pure lust for power,
greed morphed
from imaginary
need to be a part of the side not losing,
like an abused Poke'mon gone insane,
knowaddamean.

Inside the game, is virtual as allhell, in the the mind of the author
and finisher of the game,

be his intention good or ill,
dare ye play?
Here, it's safe. Get a grip on happy here and after all you go thru,
ever is as easy as pi.

Dragons devour what dragons devour in reality,
same rules.

Cut both wires faster than the spark, watch...
Rmembering learing to sharpen a knife to whittle sticks into little bits, with mu grandpa.
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