I failed at it several times,
I shall not fail at it again.
The world is so ludic,
I need some quiet space.
Deeply in my soul there is a missing part,
And ill find it once i drift apart.
You won't find me for some time,
I will disappear for a while.
Somewhere far away from this cruel world,
Maybe in heaven where my thoughts lure.

My heart aches for the life i never had.
Where I could stand sober,
Stand happy,
Or even stand at all;
without having the urge to harm.

3AM
And just like that its the night before Christmas.
You leave your room, go downstairs: you must be quiet, everyone's asleep. You stare at the Christmas Tree that's glowing like the brightest star, that reminds you of all the memories before it all went wrong. You stare at it for a while. But after few minutes you leave and go back to your room. You slowly grab the blade and slash down to your wrist. You scream, waking up the dog and mom. Mom only heard the dog bark so she isnt aware that you are bleeding to death.

8AM
The dog barks widely, waiting for you to open the door, not knowing that you won't.
Your mom screams down the hallway echoing at you to take care of the dog, but you don't respond.
Something is odd. You are not replying like you usually do.

8:30AM
Mom comes to check up on you, she assumed you were asleep, she opens the door and finds your dead body in a pool of blood. What a shame, such talentful child passed away by thinking it is a failure.

the world is quiet whenever i cry
i could hear the birds, the leaves
falling softly to the ground
a sort of drunken lullaby

What everything is possible to squeeze into the cry
When hope is changed into sadness
Sometimes happening within a minute
Blinking of eyes
You want to see difference next day
You pray for it
You go sleep sad
And hope for better tomorrow
When you will be certainly stronger
But for today
What everything is possible to squeeze into the cry

I am trapped,
Trapped in a delusion,
A mirage of what once was,
Where shadows dance in the corners,
And echoes of laughter fade into silence.

There is no one;
I am left alone,
A solitary figure in a landscape of memories,
The nights look haunted,
Cloaked in a shroud of darkness,
Whispering secrets of the unseen.

Day whispers a cry,
A cry of a dead man within my heart,
A heartbeat that falters,
Lost in the labyrinth of my thoughts,
I am a prisoner,
Who has done no crime,
Yet here I languish,
Bound by invisible chains.

I want to move,
But can’t feel my feet,
I want to talk,
But silence wraps around me,
I want to cry,
But has no reason
I want to laugh,
Laugh louder again!
Again no reason.

I am a ghost lost in my stories,
Where I am dead,
Yet still feel the pain,
The pain of my dreams,
And the people I left behind.

I want to return,
Return back to them,
But I’ve lost the way that takes me to them,
The path obscured by the fog of regret,
I am stuck,
Stuck in this dream,
A wisp of a thought,
A fleeting shadow.

I want someone to wake me up,
To pull me from this slumber,
I want to get out of the character,
Shed this skin that no longer fits,
I want to get out of the cell
Which has no wall,
A prison of my own making,
Where freedom is a whisper,
And hope flickers like a dying flame.

When i saw you break down in front of me
Something inside of me broke as well
How could someone like you suffer like this
Why do you make yourself go trough hell

I wiped away your tears as mine started to fall
And hugged you tight to sooth your pain
Your fragile strength could still endure it all
Yet I longed to take your burdens and sustain