Hey hubby,
Aftermath,
You devalued the entire outburst.
The Glare is rejecting your dignity. It holds on to your upturned dynamic, crashing its pieces in front of our confrontation’s stanza and repeatedly punching your troubling typos in order to escalate another love conundrum out of our rending fight. Afterward, do you think that we are presumably still each other’s sanctuary?

- The Poetic Soul.

How does one lose a creature gracefully…?

Is it possible to just be okay with a quick goodbye under the hum of those awful fluorescent lights? Would it have been easier, kinder, softer, if the lights were lamps scattered about the space, yellow and murmuring? When does the gut-wrneching tightening stop? Will I ever let the sadness of it leave my chest?

Sitting in this complacent grief even months after it all is kind

I know that the grief will let me cry and I know that when I do, it doesn’t judge me for my “I wish things could go back to normal.” Because regardless of how familiar the New Ways become, it still isn’t the same. I am bookended by these two creatures that have and continue to adore the Earth I walk on. But the Old Ways stick with us for longer than we’d maybe like.

But in filling that little empty nook, the small nest where a dog named Nelson used to lie, I’ve forced myself to grow, to become changed.

My adult life started when I got Nelson, and it started again when I had to let him slip through my trembling fingers. And it continues on with this new creature named Franklin, who sits just to the left of that Nelson shaped divot.

Loving things that leave you utterly shattered is what makes us so mendable, forgetful, endlessly desperate for devotion…

The whole scene will replay in 10 years time, and I will be even more ruined then.

We keep going back and forth
I am tired of playing tennis
Tell me if you really want this

I can’t keep putting you first
I wish we had the same thirst
I am tired of being third

How long will we play
Before one of us flees
Because someone always leaves

This time I don’t want to go
I don’t ever want to be your foe
I want to stay with you  

You have your walls high
Never giving too much
That’s why we’re out of touch

Out of sight but not out of mind
You know I wish you were mine
And not someone else’s dime

Your heart has space for one
I know she’s the one for you
I wish that could be undone

It is never the right time for us
I wish I could trust and not fuss
But I know this is all superfluous

If you ever love again
I want to be her
I hope this waiting isn’t in vain.

You watch time pass by
Seeing your friends getting married, having kids, and owning homes
While you sit in your childhood room cheering them on
As you envy them because you want to be there.

You look around at your childhood room trying to make it feel more you
All you are doing is avoiding the issue at
But you're scared
Scared of stepping out into the world.

You try changing your style from the emo phase to the boho kings/queens
Spending all your money to see what calls your name the most
Questioning everything you wear
You cry looking at the little white dress you're wearing
Wishing it was the dress that was saying the words 'I Do.'

Hoping that the feeling of insecurities leave your body
It doesn't
Not until you are ready to step out into the world
Until then you cry while you wear a little white dress.

i ache in areas i didn't know could feel pain
like a stepped on leaf—brought by disdain
i bleed in crevices i thought i had fixed;
but my body seems to deny the remedies —it ditched

the cries;
the laughter,
the shattering thunder
makes my heart unnaturally falter

the heaviness;
the rage,
the unforgiving phase,
the me you cannot replace


the heave and squeal,
the dying of zeal,
the red as it shed—
and the blue once its dead.