I've always dreamed of adventure, but now, I'm not so sure. I grew up playing video games and playing pretend in the woods. What I would've given to be Link with my own legendary quest. But these are turbulent times. Between my anxiety and the businessman-president and his blue-bird threats and the media, honestly, I'd rather curl up in a ball and stay inside my house forever. But the truth is, no one ever caught a crocodile by hiding in their house. It takes real bravery. And while I've got problems staring me down like I'm deadmeat, I've got to be a crocodile hunter. I have to. It's the only way to free the princess trapped inside.
This poem aged well —ha! Guess I got my wish to stay indoors! I caused COVID-19, so feel free to cancel me, I guess! This poem was written in 2016.