'I don't want to burn...'

Otto flew onwards.
It was a joyous flight.
Then trouble hit again.
His other worst fear.
Engine failure!

Must land.
Where where where?
Altitude has gone.

Trees are so close.
Wrong place to crash!
Touching close.

Want to close my eyes.
But I must to see my end.
Drop the ***** to glide longer.

There!
A field.
Thank God!

I can make that.
Keep the nose down.
Don't want to stall.

I can do this!
Dead stick landing.
I was trained for this.
Here we go!
Bump!

Bump and slide.
**** that's rough.
My warplane is sliding.
Come on now, stop!

Oh crap!
A ditch, right across the...

Mama save me again!
I don't want to die.
Mutti!

Otto came too and shook his head.
His vision was blurred and pained him.
A sweet smell wafted towards him.
The drip of petrol was audible.

He panicked and dug at the brown earth.
It was mixed with broken Perspex, above him.
Undoing his straps, Otto tried to escape.
The broken canopy trapped him.

Drip drip drip went the gas.
Then... just out of his vision.
A boy, aged about eleven.

Help! Help me! Hurry. Please!

The boy ran over.
Looked at the inverted plane.
And saw the trapped pilot.
Did he know that Otto was the enemy?
And had killed his father?

Otto flung off his flying goggles.
They made eye contact.

Help me! Hurry now.

The boy found a steel bar.
With the intelligence of the young,
he levered against the wing.
It leant against the ditch edge.
Moved with a sickening jolt.

There was a gap.
It was enough.

Otto dug at the earth and cut his hand.
Bending double, he crawled out.

Drunkenly standing, he looked at his plane.
He shook his head and felt his broken ****** nose.
Then fell to his knees and vomited.
Fractured ribs knifed him.

Otto passed out.
When he looked up, the boy was gone.
Without him, I'd be dead...

The world is healing
As our worlds are crashing down.
But someone has to fall
So another can wear the crown.
But even if we have to resort
To eating beans and rice,
Isn't having a healthy earth
Worth the sacrifice?

The rear view mirror showed the car on fire.
Metal no protection for burning flesh—
burning down to the color of the night—
a bright reversal reflected in white.
Maybe charred bone? Not hell. Neither heaven.
Police, EMTs too late to save the
tissues smelling like pan steak, fatty pork—
blood emitting its metallic compounds—
the burnt liver of organs— spinal gel    
a musky, sweet perfume less offensive
than wires, plastic, alloys, the circuitry
melting down every(all)things to its base.
He (it) never saw, tasted, felt the crash
coming from the back/front/side. But I did.

Some days I go from top speed to a dead halt in the same amount of time it takes to unlock a door or flip a light switch.

And when I'm standing still, it's hard not to feel like everything around me is crashing down and shattering. And it's loud. It's in my face. Etched onto my skin. Burned into my memory.

But somehow, I'm still here. After the thundering collision and the screeching of tires. I'm still here. In the middle of the crossroads. Still breathing. Still standing. Still here.

Because there are a few strings keeping me from crumbling. And here and there an iron rod that will not let me fall. Small truths and sentiments that shout louder and whisper sweeter than any of my thoughts ever could:

"someone cares" "you matter to me"

"don't walk alone" "careful" "would you like a hand?" "how was your day?" "you're smart too" "I like your face"

It brings me back. Back to that crossroads: my past behind me. A vast future ahead. Calling, beckoning the same way you do with that smile on your lips, your hand outstretched. And even in my clumsy fingers I will grasp it.

And follow.

From 0 to 5, to 10. To 20. To 30. To 40.

Slowly propelled forward yet again, out of the darkness my mind pulls up and around my shoulders like a shroud. Out of the ******* currents that pull me down. Out of the shadows where my bones grow cold.

Into the light and glow of countless stars. Each perfect, each warm. Each far away and watching from their perch upon your shoulders, your arms, your cheeks. Each inviting in the way a warm bed calls on rainy days.

Let me follow. Let me fall. Let me sink into your embrace and tell you how afraid I was today. Let me bare my soul, and make me strong. So that one day. If you should hear the collision and smell the smoke, I will be there to lift you out of the wreckage and hold you to my chest. The way you do now.

That one day I won't need saving from myself. But love fearlessly instead.

I took a hit to fly away that day
I should of known the high wont last
Because when the crash came
Like a fast train
The dripping rain stopped
The flashing lights drined
And i passed out for 3 whole days
In a puddle of freezing rain
That was my skin
That was my brain

I woke up in a full body shake
Need another hit just to stay awake
To speed me up to keep me sane
Maybe ill at least remember my name
Or maybe this is all a game

And thats a thought
My brain can't shake
My whole life is
An endless earthquake
All my emotions are becoming fake
The high is the only taste i take
Driving me to keep up the pace

I need more to get the same effect
My mind hurts, i need a rest
Gotta stay high to keep at my best
With the crash comes
The crippling distress
Of all my thoughts
Rushing and pressed
Into my consciousness
Im out of breath
Everytime i do this
Im nearing my death

Turning
Burning
Learning
Yearning
Blackhawk turning, HIT, cockpit burning
Troops learning of war, yearning for home