I’ve given away all the pieces
Of my heart and my soul
Each of you carry me with you now
That way I know you won’t ever be alone
And maybe I can feel that way too

Whats happening?
What was once green and fruitful, is turning ripe.
But I am forbidden, and so are you.

I cant help but fall...but maybe its not you.
Its not you .thats making me fall. It could be anyone.
We all want that which we cannot have.

We lust for danger. We lust for that which we shouldn't touch.
But I did touch you, and you...
Was it my heart? Or was it a coincidence?

Maybe it could have been any other person,
Maybe it could have been me?
Maybe its because I haven't been in touch with me.

I want to dance the night away.
Alone.
But I like company.

All fruits ripen.
So it's a matter of time until you ripen as well.
But how can I preserve you forever?

I love you. And you love me.
I don't want you to ripen,
Yet...you're not helping yourself.

Ive tried...I still am. But i'm tired.
Ive crossed no lines, yet made connections.
But i don't want to give up.

Am I Adam; in a garden only allowed to touch one fruit?
Am I Eve; tempted to try out new things.
Am I Lucifer; only satisfied when all else collapses around me.

I want to dance the night away.
Light a cigarette on the bridge.
I want to be alone.

Not because i want to.
But because you wont understand...
You wont understand me, you'll label me.

Im cruel: You're right.
Im harsh: You've got it.
Im unworthy: Im sorry.

Im the father of my own sins,
Im the son of my own darkness,
Im the spirit of my own demise.

To make connection
such stark satisfaction
evades me these days
I try to make conversation
Fight my own evasion
no luck, to my dismay
Every day is a challenge
I work to scavenge
my strength, whittled away
I just need a friend
Someone to depend
Before I lose my way

Have you ever felt this,
That you know someone
Without really knowing them.

That you hold someone,
Without really  holding  them.

That you see someone,
Without really seeing them.

That you hear someone,
Without really hearing them.

That you feel someone,
Without them being close enough.

That you call out to them,
And their soul whispers back!

they say life is a highway
that way or my way
where it ends i can't say
that depends on the places
the places i'll be
and faces i'll meet
the names that i'll greet
and friends that i'll keep
but how many will leave
and how many are left

will you follow me
to where this life ends
when i'm on my knees
will you hold my hand
will i get to see
flowers on my grave
a familiar face

cause at the end of the day
when i'm gone, far away
and you're left here to stay
will you hold on to me
like a sweet memory
will i make you laugh
or just make you cry
be the tears in your eyes
will that be too much
or just enough

With the sound of shuffling leaves
I gaze at the moon
With you on my mind
And I will you to glance up, too,
And I wonder if you will.
I wonder if we’ll ever find ourselves
Gazing up to the sky
Miles apart
And so connected
With the blue light
That shines in our eyes
As the strings to our hearts
Strengthen again.
Love me until the end
As I will love you.

I have an extensive knowledge of things
many people might call useless.

I can explain to you the evolution of the Doctor,
the Dalek’s rise and downfall, the breath of a Rose.
Merlin and Arthur live in tandem, two sides of the same coin,
and it’s hard not to see, they mean more than simple friends in their reality.
Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer, Hael, Michael, Eziekel, Raphael, among many are
the warriors of God, a man who writes comics about the Winchester brothers.
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” is my favorite quote from Russell Howard’s Recalibrate,
and Danial Sloss’s bit about jigsaws hits a note, a truth Ed Sheeran does too, in the last line,
“And before I get to love someone else, I’ve got to love myself.”
Of course, they mean romantic love, it can take someone loving you platonically to learn to love yourself.

I crawl around the corners, searching for this information, the tidbits I can throw at people,
Look and see me, I’ve got things you ain’t never seen before, as referenced to Secretariat,
said by Eddie Sweat. Tiny things, picked up from Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, ‘tis I, the frenchiest fry’.
I have a store racked with snapshots of a million different stories packed tight in my head and I’m desperately trying to shove these facts to fill this void I cannot fill.

I can tell you blue waffles are Percy’s favorite food, that Nico deserved better and look at me like come and watch the kid with a slowly declining mental health as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself. Bo Burnham. BBS came from a video featuring a yellow school bus and a fuckton of shouting. Terroriser and Danisnotonfire are comfortable in their gender, and so is my friend Evan. **** the terms and conditions of masculinity, take the signatures and white out the scrawled names, break away from the lines we try to box you in.

Tumblr doesn’t always get it right, often times they get it wrong, but somethings I’ve found on there have helped me calm down a friend from an anxiety attack, have shown me truths I don’t want to see. It also taught me that carrier pigeons could fly eighteen hundred kilometers and were used as early as three thousand years ago. Have you ever seen what fan art can do? The stunning creations made by people who don’t expect any money or expectations? What of the fanfictions? We have to pay for food, water, electricity, but yet we can delve into books, a lifeline for many, for free? Kudos to them.

This is the world I have fought to live in since I can remember. This is the hunger I am trying to sate inside of me, but it only grows and I can’t keep up with it. When I can’t be me… facts, connections, the only places I can feel through are the books, movies, shows, YouTube videos. I make reference after reference, hoping to connect with someone else, to find a place I belong and…

And I can’t stop. I can’t stop. I can’t—