I feel lost in the world...
trapped in time
while life moves on.
I feel like I'm becoming the girl
they warned me not to be.

Even if fairy godmother
came here
with my 3 wishes
you'd still give me
mixed signals

I should study
but honestly,
even you, fool,
make more sense than this

A sliver of light pears through the corruption
How long has it been since there was warmth amid the ruin
Will the flame flourish like in the past
Or will it perish beside my sanity

At one point in life,
This is what I dreamt of.
I thought it all made sense.
So why am I here
Peering over the fence?

i’m so lost and
confused

tired of my tears
and my screams
leaving me silent

my hoarse voice
and tear stained cheeks
mean nothing to you

there is no remorse
or guilt
in the way you treat me

i’m sorry
you say
but those words are hollow

and hold
no meaning to me

they are locked in a box
deep inside my mind

is this what love is

you have broken me
and now i don’t know
who i can trust

i’m afraid i am no longer
loveable

my body and mind
are in too many pieces
for someone to try and put me back together

but that word
try
is another word i have locked away

because you have taught me
that to try
is to fail

and to speak
is to disappoint

but as you taught me
you beat me down
so now

after you
there is nothing left of me
for someone else to love

and how do i explain
why i have nothing left
and that the scars covering every inch of me
are from you

how do i explain
why i think this is love

i frequently
weep in silence -
for those i treat well

are the ones who most of all
seek yet to harm me
and label me crazy

because of this
i am lost
and confused

and you,
     i want
               you to suffer
the insanity -

in myself i am aware of this

but the one i call ‘you’ is simply
                  myself
    and i find that i
          am the cause
                 of my
insanity