It's always just a competition between you and I.

You'll always win,

and you know why.

Your beauty unattainable,

Your knowledge incomparable,

You're just another version.

A better version.

An incomparable version.

of me.

all she had to do was sit there
and smile by your side
to make you sacrifice everything
when I had to put up with you
through your down and hell
just so you'd think you love me

how is it possible for me
not to think that I was
in a competition with her
when you never love me better?

I think I want.

I think I want sunlight.
I do want sunlight.

I think I want sunlight more than you.
I need it.

I fight for light every day.
It's in my nature.
I can't explain it.
I need all of it or I will die.

I do not have words
to explain.
I don't want to explain.
All I want is light.
And when it comes to light, I will fight.
Stay out of my light.
The fight for light gives and takes life.

Yet, I am alive because I fight.
I hate my neighbor
because she wants my light,
but I cannot move to another spot.
So, I climb, here, towards the light above
not knowing why or how.

I will die in the fight for light
because light is all that I live for.

Genius is meant to grow
Instead dead ideas
Are spread like plagues
Wandering rats raid
The minds of the working class
Plundering their pocket books
Stealing time while filling their minds
With bile
Pockets of putrid **** swell
Filled with hate and fear
Tainting the clear ideas
Steering the flow away from
The expression of
Grand thoughts of science and art
And towards competition
Bitterness and regret
For a world of material goals
We have not achieved yet

I want to be a criminal defence lawyer.
And I would be a ‘sincere’ criminal defence lawyer,
Breaking the norms.
Pretending to defend the criminal till the court date,
Just long enough to gather all of the evidence I get against him.
Give him just enough hope to stop the seed of suspicion to grow,
Then change my colour like a chameleon,
And sweep his sinful life into the darkness of prison.
But I will be rich right?
Because my uncle makes a fortune with this profession,
So yes, being a criminal defence lawyer would be a good idea.

I could also be a realtor.
And I would be an impatient realtor,
Yelling at the buyers when
They spend 6 months looking at houses and deciding not to buy it.
I would give them half of the information,
Leaving them wondering,
Like an individual looking for a drop of water in a desert.
And I would be able to live in a luxurious house,
With a huge chandelier at the entrance and a glass elevator, right?
Just like my cousin.
So yes, being a realtor is also not a bad idea.

Or I could be a writer.
And I would be an excellent writer,
Something that I wanted to be after the first book I read,
Reflecting upon what I know and,
Wondering about the unknown.
A grand chandelier I may not have but,
A wall decorated with my curious thoughts,
Lightning up the mind of the one who enters the small but cozy home.
I am not the water changing myself to fit the glass,
But I am the glass with unique design and space,
Allowing my dreams and imagination to fill the empty space.

Ask me for my humble opinion
I will write it along the walls of your home

Ask me to expand and elaborate
I will show you step by step

Tell me my confidence is malice
I will show you what vengefulness really is

Indirect your words and shoot daggers at me
Tar and feather my body for all to see

Turn a healthy discussion into sudden death
Life’s a competition, right?

You’re the professor, after all
I should know that wisdom has been stitched into your very being

It’s not like your student’s words would hold any truth
You’re already the winner

And I’m the one destined to lose

would-be canopy trees
fight for forest light,
but we prefer to bask
in the open desert
sun

my fellow shrubs and I
share the dome-view
sky and elemental blast
equally

we burn the nightfreeze
and with our skirting wind dance
we flutter on the breeze, and
dream--
vertically

it was always a competition
between you and myself
to see who could win the most
be most liked
and have the most.

but then one day
i realized you never mattered
and it was just a competition
between me and myself.
because half of me
hated who i was
and the other half
simply wanted to be happy.

you were never in the equation
and it took too long for me to see
that it was never about you
and always about me.

I once remember talking with a friend of mine about her unbelievable  skill of music. Even though we were always friends, I could never let go how she was so much more talented than me... Jealousy overwhelmed me. That gave me drive to always strive to be better than her, but she always seemed to be on top. As we were talking, I asked...

"How are you so talented?"

She replied, "I practice for 2 hours everyday."

I was so astonished by how someone could be so dedicated, that I couldn't resist to ask why?

She responded with the biggest smile on her face saying, "I love it. It makes me happy, I don't know why, but I can't go a day without practicing. It would feel like someone took away air if they took away music from me."

I saw a genuine passion for music in her. She didn't just want to practice, she needed it.

After plenty late nights and endless hours, I asked myself, where has all my motivation gone? Where did my love go? I used to have a desire to play music, what happened?

What was once my love for music now became a jealous competition and rivalry to achieve perfection.

I shouldn't focus on what I can't do, but rather what I can do.
I shouldn't focus on what others can do, but what I can do.
I should focus on being the best I can be at what I love.

And that's the thing about passion, it doesn't come from jealous feelings. Passion isn't something you can force. Passion is finding something that gives you a burst of motivation to achieve greatness. And not for anyone else, but for yourself.

So no matter what you're doing in your life, whether it be music, art, math, or any aspect you can think of, make sure you are doing it for yourself and for your own happiness. Motivation doesn't come from those around you, it comes from your own genuine love and desire for something.