Today I laid on the floor of a Somali grocery store and tried not to pass out.

I fought the demons of my mind and my heart, which were coming out in the physiology of my body.

"This is a new low" I thought, as I tried not to get sick all over the beautiful fabrics on the shelves.

To have and to hold, to bloom and to bear, to cherish and to love.

"You're in shock, you're in shock, you're in shock" I repeated to myself as I stumbled outside.

This is a never-ending nightmare, a hellish dreamscape, a grief unimaginable.

"Have grace with yourself, things are not supposed to be this broken" I whispered into the couch.

To sting and to bleed, to weep and to mourn, to wound and to dishonor.

It was as if everything exploded and then froze in a thousand pieces in the air.

The frozen pieces stayed there, while my screams did not.

They tore through the night and only the stars could hear me as I mourned, "I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying".

The pieces stayed in the air for months, looming overhead.

Until today.

They are mirror shards. And they are piercing me, they are piercing me, they are piercing me.

The unexpected villain. The fickle sin. The heaping grief.

There is blood everything. And I am weeping, I am weeping, I am weeping.

Doors open and close
Times revise
Closures
Sight carried
Through with understanding
Make these things
Such
Dynamics
Touch hearts

These walls hold no comfort
For a man in my shoes.
They inspire no happiness,
And nothing but blues

I'm out of time,
Out of place,
There's no more devotion.
And with these words,
I make one final notion

No more will you cry
For now I move on.
You must understand,
This is my swan song.

But do not feel bad,
And rather, rejoice
For a massive finale
I'll conjure with voice

Let them come and take me
I know what I've done
But I also know
That I've sung my swan song

My mind can't remember
the colour of her eyes
and my heart is okay with it.

I guess that's closure.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj