I cursed His name in vain
As my cousins had in the past
Exalting a new formation
Based upon the new caste
Our dividends made us dry
Allowing floodgates to open
The ephemeral pleasure of power
Giving us an unjustifiable position
As heads were laid in order
Our serpents knew their place
Beneath the Head Dominion
Shooting out more sons
In walls of Green Umber
A regal hypocrisy
Not to be admired
Nor taken for granted
Just for blue profit
In just, for the reason
The Lord told us to do it, upon thee
Leading us to oblivious matrimony
Sights and sounds drowned all out
As we made our double fantasy escape
Forever feeling the post-effects
Of our timely duality
In perpetuum
Donec oblivio

Dark blue
Hoodie,
Pulled over his head,
Over his eyes.
Quick,
Silent,
Shallow, breaths.
Feet apart
Hunched over
In his metal chair.

The blue, white,
Light
Dripping down
On everyone
Like a leaky
Sink,
Pooling around your feet.
Your black,
Soft,
Sweatshirt
Clings to your body.
He runs out of the room.
Hood
Still over his face.
No one thinks anything of it.

"I was leaving,
And he-he...
He's out there,
He just..."
You all rush out,
Your "boots"
With the sole
Coming off the right toe,
Drag on the floor.
You feel stupid,
You hardly know him,
But you're following
Everyone
Who does.

Short,
Breaths.
Coughing.
Laying on the
Cold,
Hard,
Plastic,
Church
Floor.
Scared phone conversations.

Red and blue lights
You only catch
Glimpses of them,
Like a hushed
Talk
Your trying to listen to
Only a few words,
Meet you.
"Does anyone know him?"
"I do!"
He sounds terrified.

"Any drugs today?"
No.
He can hardly move,
Like sure,
He can answer.
"Any food allergies?"
No.
"What did he eat today?"
"McDonalds."
"Do you have a history,
Of anxiety attacks?"
Someone stands in front
Of you,
You don't see his reply.
But you recognized
The difficulty
Inhaling...
And the rare
Coughing
The gasping.

"He said his chest felt tight..."

They push him out,
The bright yellow
Of the gurney
With light,
reflecting off it
Hurts your eyes.
"Ok, I need people outside
For questioning."
You stand in the back,
You can't answer anything.
What's the point?

You're nervous
His eyes rest on you
As they take him.
Your palms sweat,
As you wait
For him to look away,
He doesn't.
You never felt so small...

Your chest starts to tighten,
Wined up
Like a wire,
About to break.
A bitter
Taste
Forms in your mouth.
You saw him,
when he was sitting,
You thought
It looked...

And you didn't
Say
A thing.

I was thin wristed and restless looking for another fist to bruise
Another wall to tumble down another coping mechanism to abuse
and there you sat dressed in black swearing on a filthy church pew
Talking of all the boys you almost loved and how all of me applied to all of you
Whirlwind summer whiplash stomach sick in my Sunday best
If the good Lord tries our patience then you were my final test
Raging lows to soaring heights I found heaven in the back of your hand
You stitched me up just to tear me apart no one can humble me like you can
An answer to prayer
A song unsung
The unspoken fear in the back of my lungs
A slight of hand
The long drive home
Another night in bed wishing I had left you alone

I'm haunted by these demons within.
Unable to let light in.
I'm desperate for an end to this pain.
As I hit rock bottom once again.

I am searching for a sign.
Something to tell me I will be fine.
I need a distraction or a way to cope.
Before I give up all hope.

So I surrender.
I'm giving up.
I need a little help
To pick myself back up.
I cant do this alone,
Please let light be shown.
I surrender...

I've done things I'm not proud of.
And I just can't seem to rise above.
I turned away from truth.
I realized I'm not bulletproof.

Scars remind me of mistakes made.
Lonely nights drawing with a blade.
Things people said that cut deep.
Stressful nights without sleep.

So I surrender.
I'm giving up.
I need a little help
To pick myself back up.
I cant do this alone,
Please let light be shown.
I surrender...

your skin is the novel I never found the time to write
the kind to reside beside my bed
but every chapter is a break up letter to myself
and I keep passing them off as bed time stories - hiding them beneath your pillow in crumpled ***** of love notes
and god's word
you say you're not a prophet
but I swear you're the reason people still find comfort in the afterlife
and I stopped going to church after daddy left

I painted pictures of your chest
in every alter that would let me
but you're "not quite sure" how you feel about heresy
now you're sounding much like the pastor did on christmas,
with his drone of sinful scrutiny
and a pocket full of choir boys
you are the book in every top draw of every hotel ever slept in,
you are the force that brings babylon to its knees,
the hands that drowned the sea

When Adam ate the forbidden fruit what did it taste like?  
All the good things life has to offer?
All the bad?
Did it taste like sunbeams?
Like a childs rithmic gigles?
Like The sick, upside-down, im-going-to-***-myself rolicoster feeling?
Like tight hugs?
Did it taste as good as fields of flowers feel?
Like rain?
Like farness?
Like the saltyness of sweat-or tears?
Like silence?
Like long open nights?
Like unanswered texts?
Like lunches alone?
Like the sting of liquor?  
Like raisors
Or did it taste like blood?

Exiled for three hundred years
Without limbs, missing eyes, and unseen sins
The Church of Jesus Christ had been laid waste
Quietly living under the heavy boot of Roman Persecution
The bloodied Bride standing in Babylon waiting for her Groom

Hundreds of years prior, deep in the memory of the ancient past
Lay God Incarnate, dead in a tomb
Suffering for the sake of His very Bride
So too now does His wife lay dying
The Church being dismembered for His very sake

Three hundred years of darkness and exile
Separated from brothers and sisters by tyranny
Under duress and suffering inflicted by Rome
Until came an Emperor and a vacation home
To defeat the terror and end an exile

Constantine saw the Son of God and was granted victory in battle
Ushering in new peace and edicts to end the centuries of persecution
The Church of Jesus Christ was finally reunited and reconciled
For the Winter had passed, the night was over
The Spring had finally come, and the sun shone like the flaming tongues at Pentecost

Bishops and priests, pastors and deacons, fathers and sons; they descended upon Nicaea
Men with lost limbs and erased eyes, with restless wounds and sinister sins; they came
To reunite the Body of Christ, to define the Church for the life of the world
To remember what had been forgotten, and forget that ought which not be remembered
These men of God came to Nicaea to re-establish that from which they had previously departed

Confirming the core beliefs of the Body of Christ; the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth
The Lord Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, made man Incarnate from the Blessed ******
And in the Spirit of God, the Lord the giver of life
In one holy, catholic, and apostolic Church
Existent for the sake of the life of the world

Broken they came, united they left
Exiled they were, one Church they became
When our spiritual fathers came upon the little town of Nicaea
And remembered the Church they had long forgotten that they were

A week with me and you.
No distractions, no pain.
No rumors, no liars
Just us two.

Sharing the purest feelings.
No hurt, no false love.
A pure love.
A week that makes us cry when we're leaving.

Because we know when we get back
We have to deal with the pain,
With the distractions,
And it will be love that we lack.

But this is our week
That can't be ruined.
Not by moods and drama.
This week, happiness is all that I seek.

Forgive me father,
for I am Sin
and I am here
to take you in.

Its been thirty years
since my last confession,
but mere moments
since your last transgression.

and though you thought
all had gone unseen,
your hands and soul  
remain unclean.

You took
our Father's Sacred Trust,
and through it proclaimed
yourself as just.

And, while children,
yes, they will believe,
the eyes of mine
you can't deceive!

I know what you did
and you know to who,
and I'll not let you
draw the curtain through.

Your crimes,
these I will expose;
For my friend,
the victim no one knows.

No one knows him,
because he's dead.
because of you.
Because he bled.

You see,
he thought he
was just a boy.
Not some secret to destroy.

So,
it didn't make sense to him to live,
because of what you said
and what you did.

But, don't you ever believe
that Our Lord allows
men like you to break these vows,
and then disclaim
and then rebuke
a boy who dared to speak the truth.

You watched as a child sank and died
and to the Courts, how loudly you denied.

But,
don't believe that I am ever fooled,
and my vengeance will not be overruled.

For I am Sin,
and I don't care how much you cry.
**My Hell awaits the day you die.