The tears in my eyes have not yet to fall
Because I remember when I do cry, I don't cry but bawl.
Then I structure and build a great wall
And grow and grow in reverse, anything but big, oh so small.

The hair in my face still glistens as it snows
My blinking eyes flicker at the reminder that it's me you chose.
The cheeks on my face as red as a rose,
But thoughts in my mind, as they quickly slow.

Makes me wonder, what are our plans?
Will you leave as the tears on my face dance?
Would you ever give me a second or third or fourth chance?
Will there ever be another incident where we touch hands?

Am I overthinking already?
I'm so sorry, I'll try and go steady.
My thoughts can be so destructive and deadly.
But I can promise you that someday I'll be ready.

In that moment
a thousand poems fill my lips
Suddenly
I am too shy to speak;
Blue eyes and sunshine have become
the only words I could ever need.
I have come to know
The earth is not a cold, dead thing,
I no longer want to be afraid.
I get the sense that I forgot,
somewhere in between bruising
what beauty is truly built from.
Built from scarring skin,
reminding me constantly;
Love is not a weapon
Love is not hurt
Love is not to use against,
or harm,
or wreckage
but Love is a choice.
Every day,
To forgo the safety of feeling just okay,
step onto the edge of emotions
with a hand on your back
and trust that They will be steady,
They will be kind,
They will stay.

Holy God, Sovereign, Faithful, Righteous and True

I pray every day that I may be reduced

Death to the flesh, alive in You

This is hard to do

So much temptation blurs my view

Whatever it takes, this is what I chose

Be the gardener of my heart, weeds, and thorns remove

Drink from Your cup, Blood of Jesus righteous juices

My soul’s affection and bruised

Healed by Christ Jesus, stripes, and wounds

Don’t want to go back into the devil's pool

Let me walk in your victorious shoes

So that I won’t slip into the devil's glue

Like a plug to a socket, connected to You

So I won’t go down into death and meet my doom

Everywhere I go, Your light that gives life produces

Giving birth to everlasting Spiritual fruit

Fire of Your Holiness consumed

“To live as Christ and to die is gain”

This is my life’s pursuit

Im hurting her,
by being with you,
and the more I like you,
the more I lose her,

I cant carry you both in limbo,
and I cant pick or chose one of you,
him or her,
or none for me,

my friends,
you can not leave me,
for i need you to help me stand tall,
so i cannot chose,

and know i will weep,
when one decides to cut ties,
and i hope you remember the good times,
before my heart ruined everything we had.

Writhing in pain
Nothing to gain
Nothing to lose
Nothing to chose
Nothing but death
I wouldn't regret

Along came you
Love ensues
A light in darkness
Love engulfs us
My heart in flight
Changes my sight

Time ticking by
Wishing it'd fly
Every day closer
Maintaining composure
To far away
Counting days

When we touch
Bodies clutch
Softly entwine
Love divine
It'll be to much
We'll finally erupt
Forever mine
A Love of all time

He asked for everything taking nothing of himself .
We often bleed are emotions to become statues rather than the people we thought ourselves once to be.

No magic in contact just mystery in are presence the story is ever changing.

And the verse subjective as I choose it to be .

Poison was the pen for me today.

I want to breath...away from the canvas.
He's made it for me but I want to be free
One part from pills that I don't have
ninety-nine parts because of the names we were called
But who decides  our worth. when we cant?
From the names we were called
the classics like "Her spaz. hey freak..."
To the names that hurt deeper than a word
The ones we cannot brush away with a well placed smile
all I want is to breath
to be free of the canvas he has made for me
To stand up for the kids who cant do it for themselves
because I know how it feels to be broken
to feel like the names that kids give you,
are really who you are
One part suicidal, too parts loyal, and ninety seven parts afraid
I wanted to **** myself in grade nine.
Because of a girl who decided that my friendship..
it wasn't worth maintaining
Because even thou I stud for all that she was doing so alone
that I was not enough...
I kept my  tears from home because home is weir love is
But what happens when love is not what I need
now I want to stand up for the kids who have no one
no matter what that girl did to me.
Because no one did it for me
One part suicidal ninety nine parts afraid
I chose to believe that all life is preciouses
because yes some of us will give up
some of us who were more than one part suicidal
wont make it
but I chose to believe that all life is preciouses
because I want those kids who called us 'freaks'  to see
that I forgive them for what they did to me

i chose to be your shadow
cause somehow i'll be by your side
when the lights are upon you

...when it gets so dark
i'll never leave you..
..i'll wrap you
& i'll be all that you see

i chose to be your shadow