through the slit of her mouth where dandelions smiled begging to be uprooted, undone in a cosmic sigh across this endless leaf, the Wind she turned her back to us what felt like a yawn across a fatal gorge and down below, the tremble of her core lifting up our dreams in outstretched fists of flower dust, from a time before we.. close our eyes in unison breathe out the tune of our birth, which our mothers' hummed in their sleep, our being only imagined in their unfathomed dreams
I, a blue jay, circle your driveway
And you, a child beneath my Calculated swooping wings, stare emptily. And I, the Net you peek between Sweaty fingers, chain link fence A vehicle of crass but fated feelings- Your follow-through Your thoroughfare Take it: the ball, the eyes, the roaring noise. Inquisitive yet silent Such balance becomes our solemn dance Of hunter and the prey. I sing to you in looks and hums And hand on belly you Eat me up.
under my fingernails into skin doused in clean! the filth is killed! then I spit at it. Demands: caress my brow in a palm, any warm pocket of flesh a grandmother’s ***** the spine of a leaf my dog’s velvet-soft triangle-shaped ear anything that will let my grief get some rest sorrow is heavy trash bag to haul find me a bellhop or a sidewalk construction man something with biceps and a hardened face. someone who can clean **** up. please, sweep these shards could maim a bystander why force one to bleed such an unnecessary truth wouldn't want to wreck these shiny floors better to keep it hid, better tighten my lips around it I mean, how do -you- feel under these fluorescent lights? who is studying who? I understand now my circus of an existence was born in a tight space between the exhausted description of my histories -the official ones- and these secrets, the juicy stuff encrypted in me
how the seashell screamed so faintly in my swollen, pinkened ear labored from listening mama's face open, all lit up and how she whispered "it's the water, she's calling you home" and I turned on my heel fell into myself my little face, stone-cold and the sea oh, she got me quite figured out the lurch in my stomach was her, and her millions of droplets of doubt we stopped the car at the ocean and you all jumped right in and I hung back- frightened of the black, crashing abyss