Do you ever escape your grief?
Do you every find release from sorrow?
I can’t say today, perhaps tomorrow,
but today I’m growing round my loss
- not diminishing its presence, but recognising
that my present is not my finish
and that I add to this grief
my joy, reminiscence, and celebration
of those who are no longer at my surface,
but remain my foundation.

Do you ever escape?
I think not – I hope not.
For they are not a shackle,
but where I found my feet.

This is New Year's Day.
The new year has arrived today.
I hope things will be great during this new year.
I hope there will be no misery, suffering or tears.
2021 came to an end at twelve o'clock last night.
During this new year, I hope things will shine bright.
I hope life will be very pleasant in this year that is new.
We said goodbye to 2021 and we're saying hello to 2022.

Christmas comes but once a year
A time of joy, a time of cheer,
Families united, presents galore,
The feasting and chatting never a bore;
The laden tree glistening, lights burning bright,
What better to gather with an Eggnog each night,
Celebrate family and friends we hold dear,
While thinking of loved ones sadly not here;
But together or not they live in our heart,
A special safe place from which they shan't part.
So let's lift our glasses and offer this toast,
Health, Peace and Cheers to All we love most.

To transition is to attend your own funeral time and time again in hopes of allowing yourself the delicacy of being truly known
Identity becomes a public affair and day to day life reads like a eulogy
Imagine you are the corpse, the coffin, and the church your body rests in
You haven't lost yourself just, killed that version and put her inside a box for only her dearly beloved to see
You now become the house in which they’re prepping her body for eternal sleep
You are the final destination
The one stop shop for little girls who become boys overnight
I became him over night and the next morning i wrote her eulogy
Its been almost five years since girl became boy and i am still giving her eulogy
I am speaking of a little girl to people that only know the grown man she died to be and i am so incredibly tired of doing so
I see family and the remnants of the little girl i was believed to be and i am forced to take part in their mourning
Every day feels like the day after you lose someone you loved
There are bits and pieces of her around my house, and my mind, and even my body but she is gone
She has been gone for almost five years and i am still attending her funeral
There is no longer a corpse, coffin, and church just a man her memories rest in
I am the man her memories rest in yet i put her to rest long ago
I need the world to do the same, for my dearly beloved to do the same
For we are gathered here today not to mourn the loss of a daughter, a sister, or niece
We are here to celebrate the gaining of a son, a brother, and a nephew
I am celebrating the birth of me and giving her eulogy in the same breath and i am tired of doing so
See i am left carrying the grief of a person who still exists
I exist
Changed but still present, still breathing
There never was a corpse, a coffin, or a church
There was only ever me, my body, and the world around me

If I were a fire, and you were my candle,
I might burn your body,
then illuminate every dark space
and make it bright;
even if it doesn't reach everything,
at least we haven't gone astray
for a while.

If I were a fire, and you were my candle,
we would burn at every celebration,
in birthday or wedding cakes.

If I were a fire, and you were my candle,
we would be a farewell gift,
and leave a scar on every melt.

Accomplishment
Milestones
Completion...of a step

What does it mean to be done
Is there such a thing?

Sometimes the moment of doneness passes by
                 Invisible
Revealed only in hindsight

Savor the moments
Of completion
Accomplishment
Being done

Even if only of this step

The best laid plans can always go awry
So celebrate along the way

Celebrate the effort
The intention
The support you receive

Doneness as you expected may never come to pass
If it does
You will more concretely see
                                                    all the steps it took to get there

Either way
We all benefit
From celebrating milestones
All the steps along the way

Whether that means dreaming an idea
Or completing a voyage
Across a sea
Intact

One full year with what feels like a lifetime full of twists and turns, tears and burns.
One full year and you’ve made your arms and chest home to me.
One full year of sacrificial love — undeserved.

My huckleberry friend, with whom would I rather share my sun-drenched and, at times, reckless youth? Always in all ways, with you.

My beautiful solace, who’s courageous enough to break through my darkest clouds? It’s you — through and through.

Who has been to me a bridge over troubled waters? None but you, no, none but you.  

And whose love accepts, gives, and forgives time and time again? No man, but you. My love, only you.

One full year of knowing and adoring you evermore each day.

I celebrate my little steps,
They lead to great success,
Cause usually we move our legs
A bit, but go so far beyond the fence.

I get so proud of my own self,
And add another piece of puzzle,
And with the greatness of that sense,
I finish picture without struggle.

But let me honestly confess
It wasn't always so and wasn't better.
I used to often get obsessed,
Each mile didn't use to matter.

I ran a lot to catch the train,
The rest turned blurred and gray,
And if I tripped, get back again
Was painful, and cause of it, today...

I celebrate my little steps,
They lead to great success