i wonder if anyone
ever feared the butterfly
receding into its cocoon

walls smooth as silk
closing in,
it sheds its wings
and emerges
a caterpillar once more
a backwards metamorphosis

a butterfly
that no longer craved flight,
overwhelmed by the blue
it sank.

Your moth light is supposed to
sustain me.

I am told to discredit
my sun,

its fuel unnecessary,
yours enough.

What do shadows live on,
this light?

I am the keeper of your
caterpillar dreams.

The white rabbit leads me silently
I follow her dutifully blind
She's all I've ever known in this life
No lost world left behind

The caterpillar won't help me
Surrounds me in thick, grey smoke
Cocooned in itself as always
The truth it always cloaks

The hatter dances to no music
With the mad March hare
Intoxicated on more than tea
Through me the hatter does stare

The Cheshire Cat is plotting revenge
Grinning high up in his tree
Watching my every movement made
He's hiding the only key

The Queen of hearts just hates me
With all of her strength and might
No reasoning will soothe her
All she does is done in spite

This is no Wonderland here
No wonder to be held at all
I scrabble in the darkness to find it
The key to the only door

There was a caterpillar that had no friends
She feared she would be alone in the end
She had all, but given in

She stayed in a trees
And hid behind the leaves
Until she ate them, or there was a breeze

She had become so very fat
All the other insects made fun and spat
Out cruel words, she no longer wanted life and that was that

But before she could eat the poison leaf, along flew a hunny bee
"Hunny child you just dont see
That one day your gonna fly like me"

She looked at him in bewilderment
Surly his brain was a little bent
Wings for her would have to be heaven sent

But she decided to hold on a little longer
Just to prove he couldn't be wronger
That bee's words she would often ponder

The other insects still showed their hate
The more they said the more she ate
She knew they was right she'd never find a mate

So she made a cocoon, to hide herself within
So she no longer heard the words that could condemn
What awaited her would be hard to comprehend

The bee seen the cocoon, and sat and waited patiently
He wanted to be the very first to see
At what a beautiful creature she had came to be

When she emerged the sun hurt her eyes
Many a day had gone by
The sun seemed way to bright in the sky

But then she got a look at her wings, they where gray
"Why didn't God paint them, why are they this way"
At the bee in disgust she shouted, "You should of let me die that day"

"But my lovely one, you are now a creature of the night
And will fly by the enchanting moonlight
And see many many wonderful sights"

"Besides my hunny chid they're wings
You can now fly to the heavens and sing
Your point of view will now change on many things"

"God painted your wings gray
So in the bright of day
Against the tree bark you can lay
And safely sleep the day away"

"God only picks the strongest
To prowl in the moon lit darkness
He only picks the bravest
That at night can help with the loneliness"

The Moth bent her head in repentance
She couldn't even finish her sentence
For she realised in that instance
The bee was talking about her transcendence

A caterpillar cannot see what he will become
Wandering aimlessly as a little insect that has no idea of the future
Eating leaves and enjoying life
Crawling about the hard ground
All over and around

One day he gets an urge
Bundles into a blanket of change
He sits and sleeps hibernating
Lonely in the everlasting darkness
Suddenly a crack

Looking out he sees the sun
Blinding light fills his eyes
He steps out to a world of change
Wings like the sail of a boat on his own back
He has felt change in himself forever more
Never to be the same

There was a caterpillar that had no friends
She feared she would be alone in the end
She had all, but given in

She stayed in a trees
And hid behind the leaves
Until she ate them, or there was a breeze

She had become so very fat
All the other insects made fun and spat
Out cruel words, she no longer wanted life and that was that

But before she could eat the poison leaf, along flew a hunny bee
"Hunny child you just dont see
That one day your gonna fly like me"

She looked at him in bewilderment
Surly his brain was a little bent
Wings for her would have to be heaven sent

But she decided to hold on a little longer
Just to prove he couldn't be wronger
That bee's words she would often ponder

The other insects still showed their hate
The more they said the more she ate
She knew they was right she'd never find a mate

So she made a cocoon, to hide herself within
So she no longer heard the words that could condemn
What awaited her would be hard to comprehend

The bee seen the cocoon, and sat and waited patiently
He wanted to be the very first to see
At what a beautiful creature she had came to be

When she emerged the sun hurt her eyes
Many a day had gone by
The sun seemed way to bright in the sky

But then she got a look at her wings, they where gray
"Why didn't God paint them, why are they this way"
At the bee in disgust she shouted, "You should of let me die that day"

"But my lovely one, you are now a creature of the night
And will fly by the enchanting moonlight
And see many many wonderful sights"

"Besides my hunny chid they're wings
You can now fly to the heavens and sing
Your point of view will now change on many things"

"God painted your wings gray
So in the bright of day
Against the tree bark you can lay
And safely sleep the day away"

"God only picks the strongest
To prowl in the moon lit darkness
He only picks the bravest
That at night can help with the loneliness"

The Moth bent her head in repentance
She couldn't even finish her sentence
For she realised in that instance
The bee was talking about her transcendence

i've been washing myself
in John Baptiste's fury
more precipitation
of our seasons
saturated by the come'n'go
wait and see
the white swans before we die
crashing naked bodies
in a ***** L.A.
swimming pool
we succumbed
to their glamorous scartissues
carving our egoic existence
that time when you
soaked your hate in
the summer sun
died over and over
like a fish jelly scattered
on the hot sand
we still remembered
our mother's womb
the development of
the caterpillar
butterflies only lived
in our stomach
reproduced on rusted
trains towards
divergent universes
towards
the infinite self.