I can’t say when it started for it crept up really slow
Waking at four thirty with the need to have to go
Walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night
Needing to relieve myself, a *** and not a *****.
I’d stand there waiting tiredly for the stream to start to flow
And when it did, I stood and cursed cause it came out so slow.
A trickle took forever, and then it didn’t want to stop
It carried on till it became a drip, a drip, a drop.
I gave a shake, and flushed the bowl, washed hands, retired to bed
I’d sleep, and then I’d wake again, my eyes bloodshot and red.
It was only thirty minutes since I last stood at the ***
But I just had to rise again and stand at that same spot.
Again I’d wait for what seemed hours before I’d start to ****
And wait until that dribble stopped, I can’t go on like this.
At night I’d do this ritual, in the day it filled my head
I’d think was this the dreaded C the curse that all men dread.
So with some trepidation I set off to see the Doc
My **** scrubbed clean and smelling fresh, cologne sprayed on me ****.
For I knew he'd need to see the place no one had ever been
But I wasn’t sure if my wee man needed to be seen.
Just bloods today he told me, no poking, that was good
But he’d have to probe next visit, and there’s no need to see my wood.
A week it passed I got the call to visit him again
My bloods were fine and that was good the poking could begin.
He told me his opinion was my prostate had grown with age
But he’d need to feel it for himself so he would now "engage!"
I loosened off my trousers, on his table I reclined
Thinking thoughts of football, to occupy my mind.
Upon my side I turned away and pulled up my two knees
I wished for Anaesthetic or a jab my **** to freeze.
But in truth I didn’t need it, now I wouldn’t say its fun
But it took only seconds before the test was done.
He said the check had just confirmed what my blood test had just said
I could now remove the thought of cancer from my head.
Those days and nights where worry scurried round my brain
Thinking was it my turn, it was driving me insane.
So guys just get a check-up, you owe it to yourself
To keep a check upon the state of your own prostate’s health.
