Not Hopping
Some trainers in the BPO industry
Have worked in 20 or 30 different places
Brian met 2 or more such trainers
Both had worked in dozens of centres
Between a month’s training and years
Finally settling down to train others
Being hoppers no more job to job
Instilling their skills info knowledge
With wisdom guidance mind set
It takes skill to be a trainer
And something else to excel
Getting the next generation ready
Reps support trainers OMs

Change Time
Do some reps miss the selling?
When they’re between call centre jobs
Not able to close a sale for B2B
Or get a Sirius XM radio upgrade
What of reps doing tech support
Fixing broken TVs and infra-red heaters

Same **** different shift on and on
Dial dial inbound joy call queuing
Sup call where’s your TL?
They’re MIA having a secret smoke
While the reps struggle on
This shift the same as before
Nothing new to learn here
They don’t wanna report in

But must or get sanctioned
They dream of a sales job
Actually being good at it
Getting top box metrix and sales
Walking with pride enjoying work
Looking forward to each shift
Not like tech support Hell!
Time for a change

Kookie
The job got really kookie
2 almost sales in a day
Both failed at the VT stage
1 was the wrong business name
Plus a scheduled meeting
1 was a customer sick of holding
Who chatted with his pal
The calls added to a prior 1
This cx wanted the service
On a future date not today
Call me back in a week
2 sales that never were
A 3rd if the cx still agrees
After checking 48 rivals
VOIP service is fierce
Getting sales is gold dust
Another day of bad juju
Tomorrow will be different
Will tomorrow soon come?

Mr Fraudy
They talk about bringing back the corrupt boss
The camp is divided down the middle
Some for the boss the **** lickers
Some not for the boss the honest ones
A right storm is brewing!

The mango tree and cig area
Plus toilets and canteen buzzed
The old fraudy manager will return
If he does then I will go to war

Start off with a Messenger GC
So all can air their secret views
Knowing there will be a spy there
Do a Google form DO NOT REMPLOY HIM!
This and other things from my end
I’ll take my historic complaints to HR
So it’s on the record he did this

On these dates and will do so again
To some other suckers he rules
Keep an eye out for the ex-boss
He soon maybe your new boss!
Even if HR say other wise

Six call centre years/what will the next six be like?/career made for fools

It all happens there/work in a call centre job/go do what you want

Brian worked on 2 very different education accounts
One was UK based with 6 main call drivers
3 of these had sub topics of varied concerns
He took calls off teachers needing help
He was trained on all 6 main concerns
But only took calls on 3 of them
47% of the reps resigned    
The other account was very different
Like comparing a bicycle to a truck
It was a very hard US account
He listened to the customer
Then clicked an onscreen prompt
And a computer voice spoke aloud!
People asked about courses
It was all fine education improved lives
Plus Brian persevered in hard accounts
Maybe one day he’ll go back
To do the other 3 concerns
Or a different school account

No1 BPO
Each call centre says they’re the best
They never say they’re number 2
Always number 1 in their own way
Is this in most collected revenue?
Or number of employees?
Or with the most offices?
Each call centre says No1
The same saying by them all
Can’t they say something new?

Together
Metrix love them hate them
Top box CSAT bottom box DSAT
What makes or breaks a rep
Or Team Leader or support
Your stats are my stats
My stats are your stats
We’re in this crap together
The call centre job
Love it hate it do it together
Top or bottom never middle

Skankers

The leads were crap only getting 0.3 chance of a sale

They were ***** leads that no other shop wanted

So they gave them us to call 42 and 76 ***** leads

He thought 42 ***** was worse than 76 *****

He got 5 DNCs in a row here was swore and threatened

He dialled the leads 10 times a day both 42 and 76

The 76 ***** leads got Brian a gold contact

A different person handled the phones

Wanted new ones send me the info right now!

He did just that and he waits for closure

So he can celebrate having a 25 user sale

Each user will give him 1000 pesos

That’ll be 25k to spend on beer tattoos

Food hookers flying hiking and more

Oh for more ***** leads what blissful joy!