though, so incredibly hard to say,
i think i killed myself today.

no, it wasn't the gun i thought it would be,
and it wasn't the pills i bought to be free.

it wasn't the candles or the gasoline,
it wasn't the running into a limousine.

i think it was me in my bed so late,
unwilling to behold my fate.

my eyes slipped shut and they haven't opened yet.
but that would be lucky, and i'm alive, i bet.

just wait until tomorrow, maybe we'll see
what i can really do to me.

If it only were to be a lie,
Watching my dreams end I smile, there's no more to them but a dead end,
Unable to protect this fragile heart, unable to reopen my eyes I was killed,
Brilliance, turning to ash in a firestorm of escaping emotions,
If my birthed sins cannot be atoned in this hour, or at least forgiven,
My shred blood drenched heart will never find it's ease or sublimate, Scattered like the flower petals after falling,
To death, blinded by the love I put my trust and courage in,
Just end it all, what is left for me here is destruction,
My heart is dead, I cannot embrace, love it all as I always wished for,
Everything is far too late, for never I will be able to return again,
Give it back, please give it back, this emotion what makes me go ablaze,
Burnt to the ground with no light to see I remember your smile,
Now, as I am unable to breathe, I hoped if it only wasn't true,
There are no words left to speak.

~Umi

The funny thing about fire

it that it either

kills itself keeping you warm
or consumes you.

Your gaze
(So brief)
Into my eyes
And then away
Only to never
Acknowledge
Me again.

Our past
(It's over, no more)
Ablaze in flames
Did that contact
Albeit, brief
Burn you
Like it burned me?

I'm not going to lie
(I'm scarred)
It hurt
I'm hurt
I liked us
And I thought you did too

i am a dainted rose
and the flames consume me
i know i am nothing
but i still try to grow
through the cracks on that brick wall
i just want to grow
and shine
the plastic
it traps me
it cuts the air off
my petals fall
and my colours fade
all
nothing
was i ever something
to someone?
i am a crumbled up piece of paper in the corner
i am a paper airplane
crafted with every ounce of hope
landed head first onto the floor
picked up
thrown and tossed without a care
came crashing onto the cold hard ground
god it hurts
picked up again
die
live
die...
eventually
i belong to the trash
i am a piano with broken keys in the middle of a forest
the melody long gone
i hold onto them
they slip through my fingers
like the sunlight slip through the gaps between the leaves
sparks kiss me
and my broken pieces
i try to sing a song
that beautiful boy
his fingers traced along my body
touched my soul
every inch of my skin
he admired me like a work of art
the breeze lifts my hair
he lifted my soul
i try to remember
yet the more i reminisce
the more they run
my memories are lone wolves
and i am the hunter
oh
please
stay a little longer
just
a little
...longer
for i
am
a dainted rose.

what sweet pain i feel
Like  being pierced in the chest
With red hot steel
From something that isn't
And never was real
It lived in my head
And worked in my heart
As old memories fade
New ones shred apart
No tears
As it leaves work in smokes
All ****** functions mob
And panic, everything racing, pumping, no don't, don't leave...
I don't know how I've managed to live
Without it...
Everything stop...
And stare... as the heart burns....
The fire... RAGING... raging
It can never work again
It lived in a dream... now its over
And... dreams will never be
What they once were