)

I knew if I said too much
This would happen
I should have known
And not gotten so close

He is like a flame
And I, a moth
I keep coming back
Except this time I was really burned

I want to go back though
Say it was all *******
And I made it up
Ask for forgiveness

But I know I can’t
I know why I’ve been feeling this sinking feeling
In my stomach every time I thought about him
My mind warned me

But I didn’t listen
Like a moth to a flame
I kept going back
I couldn’t help myself

I wish I listened
I wished I stopped,
Cold turkey
But he’s addicting

And I’ve already burnt
My wings to a crisp
I can’t fly away
I’m stuck here

Left to defend
Against the unwanted thoughts
And the ultimate betrayal,
He has displayed

I won’t go back, I can’t
But I might
He still is a flame
And I, a moth

I was the tree in your forest,
          but you threw a match

on the undergrowth of my insecurities.

Never letting me grow, a potential

           to flourish, grow upwards,


But you burnt me down,
           every emotion was tinder's

I was ash below your feet,
              but when one is burnt

down to many times.

One becomes more resilient to
           the flames that are lit on purpose.


Unyielding you lit to many matches,
         and the last time one stood tall.

Untouched by your demoralization,
             and i grew past you

and now my forest is blossoming
         i grew ever stronger

now that your words burnt out.

Did your body not warn you
before you were wrung dry?

The day you found yourself depleted,
the nights that lead upto it became fragile,
your cell heavy as they were heaved onto the bed.

Did you not listen to your body,
when you woke up with a heavy chest
and your body begged you to sleep?

Did you not acknowledge your heart
when it had become
a black hole the night before
as it ****** you out in.
Your bones like gravestones
prominent among the barren skin.

Did the suffocating dark matter
not ring louder
as you gasped for air with burnt lungs.

When you stood there overworked,
with signals mixed and sensitive
rewired and tangled
did the response fit their norm of you?

Did your voice not thud,
with the lump in your throat?
Did your heart not pound
against your ribcage,
your stomach not curdle
with that war in your chest,
as your mind raced
and your chest pressured as you tried
to clutch that breath?

Did your hormones
not muddle with your thoughts?
Did they not drown them in depths
and set them on fire all at once?
Did it not ache your muscles
before it all turned red?

Did your body not scream
when they came near?
Your feet cemented,
as your body froze?
Did your gut not twist
till you felt nauseous?

Did your toes not curl
when the feeling sunk
through your spine,
sat in your bones
like an unwanted guest,
and you like an unwilling host?

Did you not feel the chill
shiver down your spine
as terror spread across your face
and painted it white
before the quake came?

Did you not acknowledge
your body is the vessel
that you kept giving and pushing
depleting it of the right to rest
rather than opening
it to the abundance of love
it was surrounded by.

Your body became over extended,
your mind became forgetful
a body that is now a red flag;
travesty.

Where did I go wrong?
Was it when burnt rubber filled the cold morning air?
Or was it laid against you with your fingers lost in my knotted hair?

Where did you go wrong?
That's something only the universe knows.
Broken, twisted, beautiful--that's how the heart grows.

Ask again: Where did you go wrong?
The answer is in the breeze.
The answers are in the trees.
The answer is not you, but me.

Where did we go wrong?
We watered the weeds growing in our flowerbeds.
We simply left the stove on, and the house burnt red.
We danced in the streets, only to be dead.

Tell me—
Was our love wrong?

There are cracks in the pavement
messages the grave sent
the dead are beyond containment
escaping earthly enslavement.

Their absence in the adytum
brought by the *******'s gun
leaves a black star sun
burning the master's son.

He's burning alive
he's burning to die
he's burning so I
burn one and sigh.

The burnt coal
on my burnt soul
burnt whole
until cold.

Heart burnt charcoal dark
By overheated passion.
It crumbles in
Your well intentioned fingers.

Todays a day I wont remember,
Tommorows probably the same.
Memories burn,
Remembering not what you want,
But what you think you want.
Sorting, categorising,
In my mind.
Who knows what has happened in my life?
Who knows what's happened in todays tommorow?

Yesterdays a day I dont remember;
Full of fear and sin.

Sin a word I always have destested.
You believe in God.
I never did.
As a young child always questioning,
What is this all about?

Heaven and Hell are both the same.
Invented by them,
It gives them hope you see
I guess I understand,
But the word is just another I hate,
I guess I understand.

I feel listless again.
I am left without slumber,
My mind beginning to bend.
Burnt like umber.
Am i trapped in this cycle?
Will it ever end?
I wonder, if I am destined,
To always walk this now beaten path?
As I'm sure it's becoming more treacherous,
As each grey day comes to pass.