Despair
rears it's ugly head
Beware
When eyes go read
Thoughts are flying
Through my mind
That answer
I still can't find
Bumbling and blundering
While blissfully blind
I'm hurt
I'm crying
I'm broken
Inside my hearts whithers
I have nothing more to say
Maybe a bullet
Will take it all away

I used to dream about running away with you
Your gone now
I'm still running
Your shadow nipping at my heels
If I could wash my brain
I would choose this pain instead
The sharp reminder has always been more comfort than silence
No one fills the shoes you left
No one fills your mold
No one fits quite like you did
And you blew it all away
Brain washed by bullet
If I could conjure you as a saint in a higher place this could be easy
I can't
Bones burned
Belongings dispersed
Sharp reminder and silence echoing in your wake
Years will pass and I will hear that shot echo loud and clear

I wonder if he heard the bullet
                 if he heard the gun crack
                 if he knew his breath was his last
                 if he thought about his future
                          thought about his past
                 if he thought at all
                                  or if it was too fast
I wonder if he heard the bullet

Did love dizzy his mind?
Did he think about his girl-
How she would feel when his body she'd find?
Did he think about his friends-
Who he would leave behind?
Did he think about himself
                 Trying to survive?

I wonder if he felt the pavement catch him
                 if he was still alive
I wonder when his heart stopped beating:
   was it in the backseat of a car?
   where they left his body?
   Did they drag him far?

I wonder what he was thinking;
I hope that he was not.

His fiancé flew to a corpse, not a wedding venue.
His mother to a coroner, not a graduation.
His brother accepted his diploma, not knowing what had happened.
I hope that he never realized these things.

five minutes can fit
a magnum opus of sound
between them
so believe me when i say
this
five minutes can make
a shotgun out of our two
glances
like the thickness of honey
squirted into a glass
five minutes are viscous
slowing time into drips that
entrench sweet shrapnel
of this miracle bullet
in our hearts and our
heads.

five minutes
between us

we're in love and we're
dead.

With bullet like words I'll let it rain
So everyone can ******* pain
Let them crumble under my strain

Someone needs to ring the bell
I already fell
All my life I've tasted the flames of hell

Hit after hit, bout after bout
No ones there to help me out
With deafened ears they hear my shouts

I've ran out of options, ran out of luck
Now I'm being ****** in, I'm stuck
Will no one brave the quicksand and pull me up

Look at the mess they made
Not helping a friend that could've been saved
I hope they never come to my grave