Monday, 24 July,
10:02 PM

I was asleep for a while on my study desk
until suddenly I stomped,
remembering that
I haven't texted you all day long.

I was looking for your name in the list
I supposed to named you "Sweetheart"
and I was looking for "Sweetheart" at first
and there was no such name.

till I remember that I've changed it
to "Stop", since you left
It was a friendly reminder for me
to stop texting you

How stupid am I?
I forgot that
we're now no longer together.

Then I take courage
and looking for "Stop"
and found out that
there was another girl
in your profile picture


I am no longer your sweetheart –and so you are
and by that time I know
I really have to stop

One day ash, one day I'll get you back and never let go. One day I'll have you in my arms holding you tight and loving you right. One day I'll carry on cute dates and pay. One day I'll serenade you with my ****** voice that'll make a lot of noise. One day I'll get down on one knee and pop the big question. One day we'll be the happiest couple ever. One day we will make the cutest kids ever. One day I will love you forever. For now I'm in the corner though

swore yourself to another girl
that she will be your precious pearl
but if one day you look over your shoulder
it is my name you ever love in every letter

All the wrong decisions
that lead to our separation
are repeating themselves
and keeping me
awake and aware
we should've been
what we are not;
together

And once again I'm here
lying in my bed
and thinking about you.

Drowning in memories
which we made together
which will stay forever.

Don't wanna sleep.
Wanna stay awake til
the sunrise.

Wanna think of memories
which we could create now.

6 weeks passed since than.

Since than you only exist
in my memories.
In which I get lost everyday
a little bit more.

Thinking about you.
Only you.

Maybe timewasting
maybe stupidity.
maybe a sign for my love.

Who knows.
Who cares, right?

DEAR SECOND EX BOYFRIEND

Yes I loved you, yes I left you, Yes i broke up with you,
But I didn't stop caring.
I will never stop caring.
I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I broke you,
But i had to find myself to be able to be happy.
I wish you could understand, but you never did,
You never gave me a chance to explain myself,
but we did try and talk after the brake up.
I never showed up because,
I was scared I would fall back in love with you,
Without having found myself.
I still wanted to be your friend,
But i guess I broke you to many times to have that friendship.
We were friends before we were a couple,
We shared the same friends, we were happy,
But my world was falling apart way before we were together,
It was a matter of time until I broke and had to leave you behind.
I was scared for you, and of you.
But if I once loved you, then know, I will always love you.
I'm sorry for braking you and hurting you so much that we are no longer friends.

They said you cried to many tears so you drowned yourself in the ocean.
Now I’m waiting on sandy white shores.
Searching for the part of me left out in the wide open sea.
Lately your face hides behind my eyelids.

I saw you.
Now i dont.
You held me.
Now you wont.
You said i love you.
Now you coudnt.
Im confused but now i know.
Your not mine and  im not yours.
And it understood.
That's what it was.
No us.
Not anymore.
Not me not even you.
And I'm sorry, your not here.
And im alone.
I know.
I've known.