I haven't been able to sleep lately because of you, and tonight like every night, I welcome my old friend Insomnia.

I tell Insomnia :

《 It has been months since the last time I talked to her, yet I keep seeing her everywhere I go.
My heart, my soul, my entire being long for her. But I can't allow myself to hurt her again.

Absolutely nothing in this world would make me happier than spending every second of the rest of my life by her side.
Watching her smile and hearing her voice. Falling asleep in her arms and waking up next to her each day.

She's my little sunshine, for real.

But for me, life is nothing but an endless circle of pain, and that is why I can't come back to her. I won't, not this time.

As much as I want to, and God I want to, I can't let myself ruin her again. My good intentions don't ease the emptiness I feel in my exhausted heart, and nothing could.

But the loneliness has become less unbearable since I've started living with it for her sake. I find solace in the thought that she won't ever have to go through my hell again. 》

And tonight like every night, Insomnia just sits there, watching me convince myself that I am indeed making the right choice. I wish Insomnia would go away, just for a moment. But Insomnia is just too good a friend, she never leaves...

Do you remember how big you used to smile whenever we would meet? You could melt icebergs with the warmness in your eyes.
Now, it feels like you don't even see me anymore…

Do you remember all the jokes you used to tell? They were lame most of the time, but you would laugh so hard you couldn't breathe anymore because you thought they were so funny.
Now, how I miss those stupid jokes…

Do you remember how we could talk for hours, never getting tired of each other? You used to confide in me, about anything and everything.
Now, my worst nightmare has come true because we don't talk anymore.

Do you remember how you used to pull my hair from behind and hold me so tight I could feel your heart beating?
Now, I only see you from afar…

Do you remember the little names you used to give me? I claimed to hate all of them, but we both knew I secretly fancied them.
Now, I can't even remember the sounf of your voice…

Do you remember how you used to send me random texts, every day? Some made me blush, some made me smile softly, and some had the power to make me laugh out loud.
Now, all I have left are the few screenshots I have kept. They don’t make me laugh or smile anymore. They make me cry because it hurts to recall how happy we were together…

Remember when we used to know each other?
Because now, we’re just strangers.

If we got that far what happens next?
Does our story continue or end right there?
Do we go back to our favorite page and start again?
Or do we turn the cover and start a new book?

Even still
No matter how long it’s been
Or how much I’ve grown
There stands a man
Somewhere unknown
Muddy locks of hair
Soft lips, sharp features
A soft golden stare
He stands with confidence
There’s love for him in me
And I in him
A love deep inside
He could have been mine
He should have been mine
But not in this life
Not this time
He was not meant for me
I am not meant for him
But still when our eyes meet-
And rarely they meet
We both know how the other felt
And all that we could be
There’s a spark that ever dies
Brighter than sun herself
But must remain inside
For there’s a man
With muddy rivers of hair
And beautiful brown eyes
Somewhere in the world
Who will never be mine.