my only dream now
to return to the old preppy garments
and the boisterous hallway
with friendly arms around my neck
breathing the whiff of boisterous energy
to feel the brotherly armor
the friendly kiss of peace
the high jinks

the giggling and throaty beats of husky youths
the naive maturity of free thinkers
filled with optimistic hopes...

Save! what a misery it is to know
to know that my juvenile years
can never return to me.
I pity thyself.
Oh how  quickly time fades!
but memos forever remain.

I was only an invisible spectator.

Tell me your secrets
Don't worry, I'll keep it
After all, I've managed to keep my own

Boys are noticing me
Could a girl maybe notice me
Instead?

Yes I know I'm pretty
(I'm gorgeous actually) No,
My shirt doesn't give you permission
To stare at my hips

Stunning
Iconic
Wish she
Would cover up

Get your eyes off my face
Get out go away

Stunning
Iconic
A modern
Temptress

- call me a ****
I dare you

Give me a crop top
Clean eyeliner
This is only to prove
None of you deserve me

Call this an exaggeration
Complete exploitation
A collection of not-quites
Piled into a finished
Song

So I'm sorry for trying
To fix in the bubble
It wasn't a bubble
But a box

Don't tell me you love me
You can't possibly love me
You don't even know me
I'm just a face for
Your ideals

I don't agree with you
"We're still friends after this,
Right?"
-
Gods no

Does God know

How you hate his creation

?
-
"Yes, of course we are!"

Bite your tongue
You don't have time
To drop these people in
Your past

Keep friends close
Keep others closer
Wait until you're older

Can I possibly wait any
Longer

The elusive Alex
Whose mouth causes that good ache
The kind one thinks of late in the night
When no one else is present
When the house is quiet
And you can finally sit alone with your thoughts

The elusive Alex
Whom will never be caught
Whom doesn’t need to be caught
Unsettled as a permanent solution to that feeling in the gut
Perhaps the search is the point

I only like broken
I only like the imperfect

Buddies since birth.
Supposed to be the star of the north.
My playmate, my entertainer, my protector.
Like a human lie detector.
The same one face.
The other hard to trace.
Your evil on the rise.
Visible through your nasty eyes.
Your hands all over me.
Push and pull me in like a sea.
Cutting deep into my soul.
Gave me another set of secrets to hold.
All that you should have been was an illusion.
I regret calling you my cousin.

“i will make you immortal,“ he says as his lips touch your skin, leaving trails of ash behind. you do not think of his words.

"i will make you immortal” he coaxes into your ear as he beckons you closer, the wax dripping from your wings and burn your skin as he reaches out to kiss you. it’s not enough.

"i will make you immortal” he whispers as he watches you fall, feathers fluttering around you, looking too divine in the midst of your fall. he couldn’t look away.

"i will make you immortal” he cried out as he watches the saltwater sea swallow up your golden touched, sunburnt body.  

“i will make you immortal” he vows as you fade into a story about boys who fall in love with suns meant for the sea.

Why is this boy acting like I'm interested?
Persistent like I'm playing hard to get
I'm happily in love, I'm committed
Does this boy thinks he is actually a threat?
He has someone and still wants another
She's a keeper, when its over, he'll regret
No thank you, not a chance, goodbye lover
Bid you adieu, cant take this girl into your bed

they say
boys want a girl
who is easy
to push over

i just
want a girl
who is easy
to be strong with