I wanted to write
exactly what I felt
but somehow the paper stayed empty
and I couldn't have
described it any better

Staring at blank screen
Dark night and caffeine
From wasteland trying to inspire
Barren- and true to nature I desire
To have what I can’t hold
To possess what can’t be sold
Life to fill this mortal frame
Not with child but with flame
In vacuum of my own making
All things numb to stop me breaking
Can’t survive like this for long
I imagine myself strong
Force my eyes to adjust
Force myself to trust
That the night holds beauty in a different way
Revealing what can’t be seen by day
But see no purpose to this torture of my soul
Except I know I’ll be stronger when I’ve crawled out of this hole!

Just blank.
Blank
blank
bLanK
BlaNk
That's how my mind was
Ever since you left.

A blank new page.

Staring, wondering.

What should my next chapter be?

Where do I go from here?

The blank pages have no answers.

The pencil is trembling in my hand.

I take a deep breath as I write

Now live.

As my world crumbles
My soul aches
Trying to figure out
The woes of this reality
Which you nor i
Can ever change
Nor fix
Several times i ran
And ran and ran
And several times
I wished
We would stay asleep
Stop the time
And prayed to the gods
To freeze hell all over
But nothing worked
Still my heart is bludgeoned
Every time i see you smile
Everytime we are awake
Everytime the clocks are ticking
And everytime when the gods
Choose not to grant
This greedy rogue's wish

There's a hollow in my heart
That no rain
Nor amount of tears
Can ever fill
And I couldn't figure why
The lump on my throat
Heavy eyelids
Blank stares
Empty feelings
Dry eyelids
Even exist
As I stare to the rain
I always wish
I would also have the courage
To just go on and pour
Every drop
That my heart wants to let out
And ask the gods
To catch them
And give me signs
That the credits will arrive soon
And as i curl myself
I always wish
That someone would save
This little wrecked soul
From something which
She couldn't even recognize