Scattered thoughts I can not explain
Scattered thoughts why am I to blame
Scattered thoughts all types of pain
Scattered thoughts slowly making me insane

Is everyone right?
Does anyone care?
Is anyone left?
How did they fare?

How did they stand,
with their feet on the ground,
when all I ever did,
was beat them all down?
I want it to all be over.

Does it even matter?
Should I even try?
Does the past pitter-patter,
or just make you cry?

Bad memories they follow,
like a cold winter storm,
but when it blows over,
new ones are born.
I wish it were colder.

Make it a journey,
make it a trip,
live out your life,
and shoot from the hip.
Nobody knows, Nobody sees,
when your life's been well over,
and cut at the knees,
Bad memories they find you,
like a solider shoots straight,
if you dodge out the way,
you're just tempting fate.

Im feelin low today
Not bound nor locked away

I just feel confused in my head
I just feel the urge to make you pay

Why must it be this way?
Why is it me to blame?

I like my life insane
Does it make me not okay?

When i feel this pain
I wrap myself within my brain
This place inside my mind
Where i like to hide
Where you become blind

Where i offer a sacrifice
Where i feel the peace
Where theres no need to bleed

Been bleeding way too long
I wanna show them your love
Leaving you seems so strange
I hate how the times change
Can you see into my soul?
Just show me where to go

Soon i ll be gone
These feelings will be gone...

Words Of Harfouchism

You turn left and right,  
you're on the right path you know it too.
Your feet know it.
You try to ignore all the sensations and vibes that you know come all at once like the wind. It happens less then a few times but those are the times that that left and right seem so beyond impossible to follow.

You
try
and
try
to ignore it.
You
try
and
try
to shove it farther down into you.
You
try
and
try
to blame it on something else.
You
try
and
try
to inflict it.

You try and nothing works.

i guess i’m no longer unbreakable

i think this to myself as i look down
at the cracks spreading slowly across my chest
like dangerous veins in the wrong place
as my heart beats out of time
and my breath catches on the words
that try to explain the reason
i cannot speak

i guess i’m no longer hidden

i say this to myself as i step out
from behind a wall of warmth
and winter creeps over my skin once again
just like last year, only this time
it’s actually cold

last winter, i welcomed the cold
as an excuse to disappear into the folds
of a jacket enclosing arms that shut out the snow
like bulletproof glass and denial

i guess i’m no longer bulletproof

because i’m freezing cold, shivering
even under autumn trees and blue skies
i stand, knowing that sooner or later
the snow will swallow me, taking me down
into a real winter this time
with only myself to blame, only myself
to keep me warm

i guess i’ll just have to get used to it

You make my stomach churn.

And not in a good way.

When you pry me open with your yearning eyes,

Your yearning eyes that burn through my flesh,

That tear away violently at everything that is me,

And leave me a hollow shell of being,

Separate from all you believe me to be.

Left to feel the blame, and lifeless.

Guilt to wash over me

Like crashing black waves.

I wish not to possess your heart,

I shove it away.

I am not the girl you think I am.

I am not the girl you think I am.