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Caitlin Jun 2018
In the in-between stage where there is just enough alcohol in my veins to try and convince me that what we had was good.
The sweet spot.
Too little or too much and all I see is the problems and why it ended in goodbye,
but here-
here I see “hey princess”-
all the “I love yous”
“I’d do anything for you”
“You’re worth it, no matter the cost”
and I know in an hour or two I’ll be thinking clearly again-
but **** right now-
I know why I stayed for so long.
I’m tipsy and we’re flirting again and I’m sorry.
bs Jun 2018
you called us the perfect match that one birthday, i felt my bag of seeds fall onto the open sidewalk, the twines ravel into discoid around my feet and make me think your words are water to be sipped from your open mouth, your hand snaked my waist as the roots pulled me farther away from the night you told me you don’t want to bend over backwards for my knees anymore, my Puma’s always gave you cold feet but my inner thighs were still Ghadames enough for you to set up a tent, or perhaps, steal one I thought I had saved for someone special.

you called us the perfect match that one day. i saw you leave that sentence in the fridge and sip them five days later, face wedged somewhere in between the biting humour of my psyche like a power station without a generator and the never ending exploitation of the little blonde girl named weakness who found a place in my fingertips so close to your face, in my wallet, in the place I once used to be able to rest, but these shoulders, opened orifices for black holes, like Falstaffian stars that caved in, that were anything but the empty space we occupied on the benches of basketball courts.

Three days after I started writing this and the urge to your clouds hover over me once again glistens like a poison apple I don’t want to confess to biting, because this pain is biting, and there is only space for one. I don’t want to eat the cake at three am and hope no one notices it again, because they will, they will see it from the icing on my lips and the grime on my fingertips. I miss your smell already thought it sells for 10 dollars at the corner shop. But its you, its you, its just you. Your kisses on my cheek after we fight. It is wrong that I consider this a sweet moment. It stems at you pouring my blood into a kettle and leaving it to cook. But this liquid will not evaporate.
But I know these tears will.
Though our sheets remain stained, my cheeks won't.
eF Jun 2018
I ran out of breath,
Trying to chase
Happiness.
I hate trying to consider myself a poet/writer.
Caitlin Jun 2018
I used to convince myself you only crossed my mind when it was swimming in liquor-
and that-
well that’d be okay,
‘cause even I can’t control where my mind wanders when my body is made up of more ***** than water,
but if I’m being honest you’re on my mind, even in the middle of a dry county.
But, just so you know when I shoot a text out of the blue in the middle of the night-
I’m not expecting you to reply,
it’s just me, letting you know, you’re still on my mind.
I’d say right person at the wrong time, but you don’t believe in soulmates
EmperorOfMine May 2018
Here I am on a dark Earth
Here in black, pondering worth
As the demons start to surf
Now new evils come of birth

Every time I look around
There's nothing, not even sound
As Earth's pull starts pulling down
Notice, I'm not on the ground

What am I falling into
What's sticking on me, like glue
No one will care, is it true
Rage in me starting to brew

Eyes that stared avert away
Feel my heart and lungs decay
Yeah, It's bad, it's not okay
I lost words I want to say

Raised my hands up to the sky
There are people around me
As I start questioning why
They pretend like they can't see

They're laughing, I'm not there
They did say, no one would care
I could bet that with my luck
I might get hit by a truck

It's okay, for I am mad
I'm not sane, and now I'm glad
I've lost my world, I've no goal
They can take and churn my soul

No one cares, but who would dare
When in this world was life fair
For you come into life bare
Bound to lose your mind down there
°ˆ°
eF Apr 2018
They all want to know
What my story is but don't
Take time to read it.
Calling yourself a friend only helps YOU sleep at night.
eF Mar 2018
Crowded yet alone.
Searching for a place called home,
Forever to roam.
Ever feel like you just don't belong?
eF Mar 2018
Always scared to speak.
Feels easier to blend in,
Than to be unique.
Hi
eF Mar 2018
A man of few words,
Whose thoughts often get misheard.
Loving the absurd.
Not everyone is the same.
And that's ok.
That's a positive thing.
Yet most frown upon it.
eF Mar 2018
Found comfort in pain.
Self-Sabotaging until,
It's felt once again.
hi.
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