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Jacqui Dec 2019
As I straddle the line between the highs and lows
I find myself wondering when I will start to feel better

The highs, so euphoric and freeing
are always too good to be true
They never last, no matter how much they light up my world
Reckless and bold, I feel invincible
Racing thoughts too fast to even grab hold of
there is no time to overthink
No other feeling quite encapsulates this
I dream of staying in this place
but the highs, so euphoric and freeing
are always too good to be true

Faster than I can comprehend,
I am now falling back down to that dark place
Slamming to the bottom so hard
that my body feels too heavy to move
I never see them coming, but the lows always return
Gripping despair consumes my thoughts
The brightness has now been replaced by such thick fog
it robs my sight of any way forward
There is no euphoria here, only hopelessness
I never see them coming, but the lows always return

Up and down, up and down
the cycle endlessly continues...
I've been trying to find the words to describe life with Bipolar 1. I still don't feel I've quite touched on what it means to me, but figure this is a start
I am so tired
Of swinging from the vines
Of mismatched emotions
Until I,
Not unlike Tarzan,
Collide with the tree trunk
And remember why
I was not given wings in the first place.
Jakk Calico Dec 2019
MANIA

And I aint comin in to work
Tomorrow, boss man
Cuz I got demons calling
In my sleep and I dont
Know how to say it but
I pled insanity to break
It all open, pouring pain
Like molasses, tar and featherz.
Ain’t no shame in being a renegade

*

Hopped on the earliest bus
Across the country, or to him,
The world. Never to come
Back-- no regrets, no puppeteering
Regret is what took his soul the first time
But one thing, though
From a different world
Than himself -- kept the wonder
Of whether or not losing all
Of that pain
Was worth it
*

Amongst the mountains
And the forest, trees dwarfing
Skyscrapers. The sun, a mere
Compliment to the width of beauty.
“Its wonderful here, but you
Don't want to be here when
Something happens.
There’s a 9.8 earthquake coming you know?
It’s all lies, you know?
Fox News, politics,
All of it.  My word,
How did the pioneers do it?
20 miles a day on foot?”
Said the crazy old man
Brainwashed
By the truth, in the burger shop.
The splendors, frills of war
Freedom, disattachment, nirvana,
Whatever the ******* want to call it
Was overwhelmed by her scent

I met a father in myself
That i never trusted,
“Fists up, i don't want anyone
To see you.”  
I met the wife
I was beginning to know
“I really misjudged you this time”
I would love to think.
I held my unborn baby girl
With long black hair
Thin delicate appendages
In my arms
And standing beside me,
Silver whips flowing through
That same sea of black hair,
A mind so hypnotizing--
A slight brush of her skin,
One snap of her dark eyes,
How she reads through my mask
Like packing tape, a puzzle I
Have not solved yet.
Could make me jump into the sun itself.
Every body else became
A derelict, a passer by
Huddled up against a building
Sleeping their dreams away
On the side of the road
*
The glory and splendor of that life,
With all the *******,
All the fire held back behind her eyes--
(I see it, give it to me, I want it)--
Had become the purpose
The bouts of euphoria became
Abundant, the power of a quake itself.
Engulfing.
Now, truly the feeling
he had never met before.
It wasn’t lady lust at the door
This time, or a he or a she
For that matter, but the purpose.
Hypnotizing perfume radiates
from the possibility
That this time, it was real.
Because if she was different,
He had seen the foreign,
Without the boundaries of obligation,
Rather the duty of true freedom.
The bouts euphoria were
Unlike any other --
Overwhelming, overwhelmed,
in love
Carlo C Gomez Dec 2019
I hide
In rooms
Cold and spacious

Sleep is a hunter
Triggered
and mendacious

Through cracks
In crevices
Here I am

Studying the arts & architecture
Of historically
Dead mayhem

Affixed and frozen
To the ceiling
Of my head

Where twisted thoughts
Grin signature
Red

I can quote
All sorts
Of useless things

But none so urgent as prayers
In escaping what
My polar opposite brings
"I feel like I'm a snow globe and someone shook me up and now every little piece of me is falling back randomly and nothing is ending up where it used to be." --Amy Reed on her fight with bipolar-disorder.
Carlo C Gomez Dec 2019
The doctor's not in
But he makes housecalls
Especially upon young ladies
Who read one another's sacred
Journals, hoping to steal dreams
Dreams of callipygian
Dreams of tryst
Dreams of embrocation
Dreams of frisson
Each able to be held
In the hand, but
Lost to the wind
Father Physician
Is a savior of sorts
Curing them of all their ills
Yet, only for a day
Tomorrow the mind
Shall play tricks on them
Once again
For Sylvia Plath
anita Dec 2019
get me out of my mind
this insanity is unbearable
inescapable
snap out of it, they say
that's debatable
it keeps coming back
consuming me
haunting
my mind is
broken
i contacted a therapist finally so yay
CallMeVenus Dec 2019
I've dug tunnels on my face

Carved them with the salt trails of tears I wept

I moarned the death of who I used to be and since I numbed the pain people call me Heartless.

Been wearing black more often than I wish to admit
 Even though sometimes I crave rainbow socks ; my nails painted red.
Rylie Lucas Dec 2019
Shouldn't they
Care about us?
Having compassion
Opens up doorways and
Opportunities. it allows for
Learning and growth.

Instead, they feign these things
Shooing away the cries of pain.

Help us" they scream, their words
Echoing off of walls.
Losing their meaning as they multiply and
Likewise, get ignored.
hahaha...the US school system is ******
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