To all the mysteries in this life,
nothing cuts as deep like a knife
in your back, put there -
by people - who swore they care
and yet it can all be healed
No matter how cold or dark you feel.
There is always hope in the coming dawn
until the very day were gone
even then there is hope
if you wish to widen the scope.
The spirit of death is dead.
Gone when Christ lived and bled
vanquished When He Rose again,
He sent his spirit, a comforting friend
so respect the Father and His creation
explore his joy peace kindness through dedication.
He will reveal to you all things in due time,
so push-up the hill. And enjoy the climb,
enjoy the majesty of the peak
And hear this when to your soul I speak
He did move a mountain by giving you the strength to go on.
At firstNone of God's giants  felt like a champion
  you moved past the mountain in your past.
You climbed out of feeling like an outcast.
You stood up so your peace could be reclaimed.
You squared your shoulders and cast off your shame.  
You can be humble and yet courageous.
You'll find faith in God is contagious.
So share the joy of Christ's truth
to aged and the youth
to woman and man
pray to the Holy Spirit to help them understand
show them Christ offering His extended hand- through you
and in everything Give God glory for all you do
for none is of your own volition.
Because He issued you your mission.
The question is what will you say when He calls
Will you say "Yes, Lord" or will you succumb to doubt

I try to find little bits of you in my heart
And no matter how hard I search my ocean depths
For one shining ray of yours
I only find bits of moonlight.
Like a puzzle missing a piece
A part of my perception of you is gone
I cannot leave
No matter how sad you make me
Because my heart remembers
How you'd made me the happiest I'd been
I thought the love was special
But I was standing in the queue
All the others you had been giving love to
Were hidden by walls only you could see
I feel as if my body is being ripped apart
Heart and mind on opposing sides
My body is so numb now
My body is dragging along, like a zombie
Like a puppet, pulled by your strings
Like a heart through the ocean.
I don't even know what I was thinking
Disappointed in you and myself
The person I loved the most
The person I admired most in my life
Has turned a red, beating heart
Into one full of rife

I've paid the price, I've sacrificed
Everything to know I'm fighting for the wrong side
You ignited a spark with your deceitful tricks
And I'm left alone with a flaming phoenix
I thought she was hunting me, I'd seen the signs
The glass breaking, and the crowd didn't see
I've been on the wrong side of the lines
Those warnings were coming from me
I feel betrayed, but I stayed, I felt pity for you
Didn't mean to make this start, oh, what could I do?
Pure cranes that once flew in my dreams
Their wings are blooded from you
I have not spent months of recovering
To be treated this way
No more children I'll be mothering
No longer will I stay
I'm disappointed in all people
For you being so deceitful
For all your misleading lies
And I still have to look into your eyes
I'm just surprised that you could be
So confident in the ability to mislead me
The little spark you've created
It has now turned into a flaming lion
If your lies, you'll continue to tell
It'll burn your soul down, and truth as well.

Pages
Upon pages.
I write,
I scream.
I bleed.
Upon pages.
Where I drown out my cries.
In various fonts.
Setting the world I so desperately despise
Ablaze.
In the places that killed me to breathe.
You lived.
You found comfort.
Solace.
You found peace
Where I found pain.
I do not hate you for the love you lack.
But you do not know what it is like.
To watch you be without it.
It is the emptiness that speaks volumes.
It is the “something”.
That I long for.
Amidst the nothingness you provide.
Among the sea of chaos.
I wish to see you drown.
Maybe then.
You would have a drink to offer.
On your diet
I have starved
You have forbidden all things essential.
Where
Hope
Used to take the edge off of the pain.
The tears I rationed.
all have dried up like the well that held your capacity to care.
Simply put ,
I have lost all of the weight you placed upon my shoulders.


Because I finally took a bite of something sweet.

When you decided to leave
We shut each other out of our lives completely
You changed your "About Me" to quotes to help you grieve
And when I finally thought we were through
You changed your quote to "I loved you too"
Which messed up my mind completely
Then you changed them to song quotes
And you put little hearts around it
I thought you moved on, so I ignored it
I thought you fell in love with someone else, letting me be
When I looked up the lyrics, knowing they had to be about me
And I thought you were silently asking if we could be friends
So I decided to talk to you again
And you spoke dryly and ignored me again
And that was my last attempt, so I decided to move on
And now you decided that I'm the one that's gone
So what now are you trying to achieve?
You lost the one that stayed when you decided to leave