'You said,  
     "Someday I'm gonna break your heart",
      the first time that we met--

     Were you warning me..

     ..or just seeing how close I'd get?'

If you didn't want to exist  in the heart
of a man like me, then you shouldn't have
allowed your scrapper little spirit  
    to write the way you do.

And I was so naughty--  so very intentioned  
in all of my obscenely-truthful lies..
I told you it was all your  fault
        that you got in so quickly

         --and   it  was.

I got you back, though
I knew it the moment you let on
that you had fallen  deeply  in love..   not with me..
but with the love that had so deeply  fallen
for every-thing about you

And so,  it increased..  but at such a strange distance.
But even then,  the years only perfected  

   and strengthened..

   until lately..  
                      until lately..

     'We lay down in a lover's sigh
     As a million years of time rolled by
     How can I be hoping that it's not over yet?'

     I wasn't done, young Andi..
     no..   no..   far from it

You see.. there's this shame-thing
I wanted to flood  with light.
I'm getting so close  to finding the words
     that have never been heard  
     in this world before

    (And now.. and now.. and now..)

     'I can't hold on to the night
     Things change, ain't nothin' ever stays the same
     You're gone as far as I can see

     If you feel like letting go
     Honey, I don't wanna be the last to know

    ( I wanna hold on tight to the sweet memory
        of you loving  me)'

head, body, and tail
for every dark entry
there is an exit.

And another morning happens,
awoken by the oxidized groan and stretch
of the lumbering machines
that live in the dirt pile
in front of my apartment

there used to be a farm there,
and there used to be someone
in my bed and darker curtains in my room
but a lot changes in a year

there's still a tiny hole
in the corner of my bathtub
that greets the curve of my foot
every time I step into the shower

i can't tell if it's gotten any
bigger or not
or if the water i hear dripping
is from some other fixture
for me to look at another day

i know my kitchen sink still overflows
not with bubbles
not anymore
but with the dishes i've put off
for almost three days

i wish the men in hard hats
across the street would do the same,
tell themselves that they'll get to that
concrete patch, hole digging, pipe laying,
belt grinding, beam building, horn honking,
sound of trucks backing up
tomorrow
so i could sleep in for once

but they've got a job to do
and sandwiches someone wrapped for them
in aluminum foil
to eat at lunch

and i've got to do the dishes
so i can have a spoon
for my cereal

We’re off to New Haven - hurry, hurry -
we’re jammin, crammin, slappin'
and slammin' everything into our bags.

“Fifteen minutes to take-off,”
Michael announced, “the chopper's waiting.”
with hugs all around we separated.

Our roommates too, are all catching flights
vectoring in from various sites -
our motley group will reassemble tonight.

Pew rated Yale one of the hardest universities
to get into in '23 - so is it really a certainty
that our cardkeys will let us into our residency?

Fall grades came out yesterday - Lisa and I are all grins
- we’ll have thirteen days to visit and settle in
and reorganize things before Spring semester begins.

I hope that your vacations were as fun as ours
but the New Year’s begun and in a matter of hours
we’ll resume the school grind, our holidays devoured.

fireworks
******* fireworks
happy new year then
i suppose

Stage lights and the shimmer of red sequin
He read her like a book
And his teeth kept on shining,
he's been there before

She’s singin’,
“In Heaven
Everything is fine
In Heaven
Everything is fine
You got your good thing
And I've got mine

Everything is fine”

It’s enamoring, he thinks to himself,
“You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothin' else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
Wise men say
"Only fools rush in"
But I can't help falling in love with you”

She’s looking back,
Fading as she sings and thinking,
“Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?”

The song ends and she slips
into the bar-side
of his hunting grounds,
he feels ignored,
so he walks over
“Oh, What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

Baby, don't hurt me
No more
Can you tell me,
What is love?”

Maybe it's too much so she bows out
“ok, can you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?”

“No,” he’s disappointed,
“I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a sign”

She asks, ”What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more

can you cater to every fantasy I got?
can you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
can you take me places I've never known?

What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more.”

He responds slowly,
Soon hurrying his words,
“Oh, I don't know, what can I do?
What else can I say? It's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you.
I can't go on.”

She scoffs,
“I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be ******* around”

“look,” he says, “I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you”

Some time passes
Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all
And these are the days that never end

Some nights she’s breathing fire
Some nights he’s carved in ice
Some nights she’s like nothing he’s ever seen before
or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know she can save him, no-one else can save him now but her
As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the bays are burning
As long as her dreams are coming true
She’d better believe it
he would do anything for love
he knows it's true and that's a fact
he would do anything for love
And there'll never be no turning back

I know now though
Nothing lasts forever
And even time will pass
She’s gone to the winds
Of seasonal doubt,
He’s in a mood
and already out,
she pleads as he packs
“stay!”

and he says back to her,
“Shall I stay, would it be a sin?
If I can't help falling in love with you. no,
Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my life
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This ******* you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all.”

“but…”
she puts her hand on his shoulder

He recoils,
“Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go

If I should stay
Well I would only be in your way
and yet I know
I'll think of you each step of the way”

She’s there crying on the kitchen floor,
Left to live her life,

Many weeks slipped by her mood
Passing through the avenues
She meets her man
Before either found anyone new.

So they take a hike
And at the peak she starts talking,
“At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock,
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.”

He opens up a little,
“No matter how hard I try
You keep pushing me aside
And I can't break through
There's no talking to you
It's so sad that you're leaving me behind
It takes time to believe it
But after all is said and done
You might be the lonely one.”

She says “Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough, no
Do you believe in life after love?”

He says, “I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
So send a smile and show you care

See the man with the lonely eyes
Oh, take his hand, you'll be surprised
Like the river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so we go
Some things were meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you”

She melts just enough to say,
“Just a little bit of love,
that is all we need for the second day.
Is it hard to be a friend,
for a little while in a simple way?
Just a little bit of love
and a friendly face makes the world look bright.
And a shining star above
will help you through the darkest night.

When you feel down,
don't sit and cry the whole day through.
Don't wonder why
it all must happen to you.
Put on your coat, come over.
No, it can't be that bad.
Put on a smile, don't look so sad.”

Then she asks, “Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life,
I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?”

“yes, I can do that
Oh I can do that” he answers

She continues,
“Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?”

He says, “I can do that”

Finally she asks,
“Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?”

“I can do that
Oh, I can do that.” he finally answers

She can’t believe it,
“After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on”

He holds on,
“No, I won't do that
I won't do that”

She finishes,
“I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be ******* around.”
Waiting for a reply…

He answers slowly,
Pacing himself,
Like it’s a race til death do us part,
“I won't do that
Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
No, I won't do that.”

15 days and 15 nights I kept you right here by my side
Through the darkness, hunger, and ice
I miss your hand on my back
I want your head on my chest
I want your lips on my neck
I want your voice whispering
"Do you like that?"
I like that

15 days and 15 nights I kept you right here by my side
But ****, my bed feels cold tonight

Oh no, I love you
And now I gotta tell you
Oh no, oh no

I thought I was just having a nice time
But then as you left for work I cried
Oh no, oh no

~
gone to earth

left for dead

everything is tickety-boo

forget your iron-on measures

and scuttled installation

your life is a bakery

that cake is like your head

bittersweet

and full of regret

what am I reading these days?

a book across the stars

where dreams in the throes

of giddy aerosol cans

**** the passersby

and sleep against

the exit sign
~

Intimate tables. White linen coverings. The room, a checkerboard against the mahogany floor. Cozy nooks for two sit poised for the evening crowd, set against the wainscoting of one wall, a length of crystalline windows above.

A place setting removed, she sits alone, the amber light of her wine an imposter for the last shards of daylight that poke from behind a ridge.

She swirls her wine clockwise. Something to do with progress, he said. Or she read that somewhere. She can't remember which.

She finishes and turns the stem of her glass slowly hoping to leave an impression in the cloth, when a voice says, "May I join you?"