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Jessie Schwartz Feb 2018
The Monster…by Jessie1/06

The day began in a most unpretentious way
Unbeknownst to me, what was lurking in the shadows of my mind
Smiling, laughing, engaged in every way
The day sunny and warm
Then in a blink
I felt a chill, and a vale slowly enshrouded every thought I had
Encompassing and choking the day’s life
The monster has broken free and is taking me from within
It’s grasp strong, its purpose unrelenting
I must summon the energy to fight while I still have the strength
It’s getting hard to see
The walls are closing in
It’s an effort to breath
I must not give in
I can break the binds that shackle my will
Who will fight with me?
Who will not allow the monster to drive his wedge of despair deep into my heart?
I am alone in this fight I feel, if only because I have gone into seclusion with the monster
He draws me in, because he knows my weaknesses and knows I am more vulnerable alone
Why do I fall for his trickery every time?
This is not a battle for just today
The monster will not be vanquished
I must learn how to battle better
I must secure a tether to those who will battle with me
For the next time I am drawn in, I will have an allied by my side
Andrew Ewen Feb 2018
OCD is a part of my life that I thought was over and done.
Turns out it is a battle that is not easily won.
There will be ups and downs, it will be a war.
Things may never be the way, they quite were before.
I am determined though to keep it under control; this is a battle I'm sure I can win.
I just need to suppress it, this evil within.
Mister J Feb 2018
I pulled it..

I pulled the trigger
Of the gun pointed at my head
The bullet racing each millisecond
To blow my brain to smithereens
With my whole life flashing before
My bloodshot, insane eyes
Reliving each moment of this
****** up excuse of a life

There it was
That stinging depression
That started small
And grew in my weary heart
Slowly eating me each day
Growing darker and more sinister
As each problem came
Tearing my sanity away

Leading me to this very moment
Where I choose to run away
And leave this mediocre life
To rot and decay on its own
To be finally in peace
So that all that loneliness
Won't ever touch my heart
And will be free from my soul

And yet..

I began to remember the love
My family and friends gave me
How they stayed by my side
Never abandoning me
As I was loosing hope
They held on to me
Tried to keep me sane
Supporting me through it all

How cowardly of me
To suddenly let them go
To throw away this one and only
Life given and lived by me
But I guess its for the best
I guess its time to rest
I'll never see them again
They'll just forget me anyway

..Will they?

The happy moments came flashing by
The many times I genuinely smiled
Truly laughed and felt at ease
Those moments sweet to cherish
Was I this happy before?
Before everything else came crumbling?
Before I succumbed to the voices in my head?
Before I ended up at this very moment?

I don't want this..

Last moments of feeling the regret
I don't want to end this life
I just wanted to regain the happiness
The happiness taken and removed
By this consuming condition
This unforgiving depression
That ills my every cell
And has now completely taken all of me

I could've just lived my life
But no, I took it on my own
In any moment now I'll leave this world
Never to be seen again
No more new opportunities
To better my life and move on
To fight this psychological battle
That has taken hold of my entirety

And then it hit me..

I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!
I DIDN'T WANT TO **** MYSELF
HOW DID I END UP IN THIS SITUATION?!
SOMEONE SAVE ME!
ITS COMING FOR ME!
THE SMELL OF GUNPOWDER ENTERING MY NOSTRILS
IT SCARES ME!
****! WHAT DO I DO?!
THE BULLET NEARING MY SKULL
I CAN HEAR IT CLOSING IN!
SAVE ME PLEASE!
I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET!
I WANNA LIVE!!

The pain stings..

My head feels light
My consciousness fleeting
As I fall to the ground
I could see the massive bleeding
I can't hear a thing
The silence is deafening
My vision went black
And then everything just went
Blank

...

..I shouldn't have pulled it
Serious piece here
Its kind of a suicidal piece
For those battling depression
Don't loose hope
Someone will listen
You just have to ask. Okay?

Thanks for reading.
Coventore Feb 2018
When the moon rises and the sun gives way,
The shadows creep forth as She enters the fray.
The strike of her spear will end your day;
The Morrighan's ravens will take you away.

She who darkens the battlefield skies;
She who listens to the soldiers' cries.
She flies over the fields on black wings,
Vigilant of those ready to hear how Death sings.

But She is protective and nurturing, should She choose,
Just as easily as She decides who will win or lose.
Glory and defeat, life and death,
She is The Morrighan, praise under your breath.

When the moon rises and the sun gives way,
The shadows creep forth as She enters the fray.
The strike of her spear will end your day;
The Morrighan's ravens will take you away.
Now this is something that, for once, is not inspired by my emotional state at all. It is merely something I randomly came up with. Glory to The Morrighan. The Old Gods will be remembered once more.
Dolly Balou Feb 2018
There was a pool.
A deep pool of watery emotion.
I must keep my head above water to survive.
For years that's what I've done.

Circumstances drew my being into the deep unknown.
As long as I may keep my head above water, surely I will sustain life.
The water seemed black,
Tarnished
The darkness trickling from every pore of my body.

I was slumped in a whirlpool laden with dismay.
On a mission to seek safety, I constantly held my head above water.
There came a time where I felt as though I no longer had the strength to stay safe.
My energy was becoming exhausted
I felt a weight dragging me under, prompting me to sink.
All I could see was the darkness.

I felt the misery penetrate my inner being as my lips took one last breath before relinquishing myself to immorality.
I pierced my eyes closed, as tight as I could as an attempt to keep the unlit from entering my perception.

Although plagued by fear of this darkness and essentially the unknown, I knew I had to fight.
And by fight I mean surrender, for fighting is all I have ever done.

Opening my eyes I felt the battle be drawn from my psyche.
I let go of the connection.
The preexisting negative prejudice and judgement floated to nothingness.
By taking away the battle, so to was the darkness and associated distress.

The whirlpool of water which I always believed to be darkness suddenly appeared as still, pure, clean, and clear water which flowed through my every pore.
Dignity returned.
Happiness too.
There was now only light overflowing my inner self.
Cleansed and free, I finally found safety.
Jessie Schwartz Feb 2018
War
War …by Jessie 6/05
I peered quite deep and far beyond, where any man should look

Into the eyes of tragedy, where fury can be took

What I saw, I can’t explain, there are no words to say

Suffice to say that what I saw, scared me on that day

Men as far as the eye can see, lay empty on the ground

Others running fast and hard, explosions all around

Mechanical devices, found burring in the fire, trying hard to stay alive the soldiers first desire

The smell so bad it chokes the throat, from chemicals and death

Heat so hot, it sears the lungs with every choking breath

Fear, in every eye, tells of what’s to come

Nights of panic for many, death will come to some

Cries poured out into the sky from those that have been hurt

While soldiers blood on each side, fill pools in the dirt

Pictures of their families, crumpled in a pocket near their chest

Memories of what they’ve lost, at their final rest

Some men break, the strains too much, from all that they have seen

Not retreating on the battlefield, only in the brain

Yes, I’ve peered quite deep and far beyond, where any man should look
Into the eyes of tragedy, where fury can be took
Jessie Schwartz Feb 2018
Heavens Battle… by Jessie 3/05


Long ago Lucifer, was cast away by sin

Heavens door unguarded; Lucifer snuck in

Heaven calm and quite at peace, until evil came to play

Everything it touched turned black and darkened all the days

Panic hit the heavens, Serenity the cost

Fallen Angels everywhere, this war was almost lost

But suddenly, there was a light, bearing down upon the hoard

Arch Angels, in their war attire, sent to battle, by the Lord

Like locusts in a feeding swarm; evils minion stomped and stormed

The Angels drew their battle lines; alliances were formed

Swords clinched with in their fists, slashing at the beast

Pools of blood, horns and wings strewn beneath their feet

The smell of death was in the air; the tide began to change

The Angels force was mightier, than Satan and his gang

Backing up the evil and sending it below

Cries poured out from both sides, with each crushing blow

All four Arch Angels; exhausted from the fight

Circled amongst the fallen, on that apocalyptic night

Gabriel was wounded, Michael much the same

Raphael and Uriel, each taking half the blame

Gabriel’s wing half severed, a **** in Michael’s side

Both continued fighting, finding strength within their pride

Four against the many; brave and pure of heart

Broke right through the enemy’s lines and tore them all apart

Back to back these four fought, ridding heaven of its curse

Knowing had they not succeeded; things would be much worse

Other Angels finely came, to carry off the dead

Cleaning up the heavens floor, stained by blood of red

Tears were shed for fallen friends, which stood against the foe

To this day the numbers, no one seems to know

Then all the Angels sang a song, Angelic and full of grace

About the time when goodness won and drove evil from this place
Eric Fraley Feb 2018
Locked inside

Feeling left out

Living life but life's locked out

Hopes and dreams

Love and laughter

Here for moments then gone so long right after

Helpless thoughts

Within a crowded home

Happiness hides in the basement

While sadness steals the show

Motivation lacks as madness lapses

Running laps around bad habits

Wasting time on time to go’s

Stick around but just for show

No peace of mind until we're lavished

Gone out of mine to find the meaning but still can't grasp it

They say to live your life as if you're dying

Every second counts yet life's untimely

But what's the point when living blindly

Futures fate

The pasts behind me

Took a chance

But life's denied me

Lost my faith

Got it back

By a thread

About to snap

Here I sit

Trying to stand

Fight the demons

Be a man

Lost in the ocean

Cant find land

Life's a struggle

No upper hand

Empty notions

Glass half full

Lost my way

So long ago

Now im caged

Stuck in a hole

Fleeting strength

The depth just grows

I  must be willing

This I know

Climb back up

However slow

Do not wait

Get up and go

Times against me

Stop saying no

Afraid of heights

But feeling low

Use all my might

Trudge through the snow

I will not stop

Until I'm happy

Until I’m whole

I will not stop

I  w i l l  n o t  s t o p

Until I reach my goals
lins Feb 2018
so
let’s talk,
old friend.

what is it
that you want to say
to little old me?

I’m not good enough?
you don’t trust me?
I’m not sure that’s my fault.

I admit there were
issues with our ship,
but I didn’t wreck it.

here we sit
old friend,
on this deserted island.

each searching for
something the other
just can’t provide.

I’m going to get up and run
to the arms of my
Strong Rescuer.

while you sit in the sand,
and continue to cry because
no one will save you.

I’m truly sorry
that things didn’t
go so well.

but here’s the thing,
I’m making my way
off this island.

you won’t come with me
so I’ll have to leave you behind,
but you have to at least try.

I’ll see you again sometime
in the future, once you have
let your feet lead you to the Rescuer.  

for now,
goodbye
old friend.
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
I have been here before, I recognize this place,
The familiar pain residing in my heart,
This inward battle I am fighting,
I began steadily losing from the start.

It's clear to others I am failing,
Constantly chasing after this buzz,
My portrait now lifeless and distorted,
I can no longer remember the girl i was.

My spirit is heavy, weighed down with
The burden of guilt and regretful heartache,
Dependency slowly consumes me alive,
It's becoming too difficult for my soul to take.

I'm finally ready to surrender,
I wave my white flag high, let the drugs win,
Now it's over. Addiction has conquered the war,
Raging on underneath my skin.
Written 12/16/17
Anyone who is struggling with drug abuse feel free to message me if you have no one to talk to.
Feedback anyone?
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