I

had

to

do

a

double-take,

and I still

don't know which way to go

I

enjoy

a

good

feast

now

and then,

but it's gotta be

quality

...

no gas station sushi for me

took a lot

of searching,

but

I

think

I

finally found

myself

losing layers

shedding skin

I'm

dying to be born again

guess it all started
exactly a year ago
with my Instagram

I faked what I saw
just the simple asanas
like handstands and planks

but before too long
I realized the potential
for getting stronger

went from there to apps
High-Intensity workouts
designed for building

I was skeptical,
but in a few weeks I saw
a bit of a change

found new appetite
and a lot more energy
in every morning

but I soon got sore
so it was back to the 'gram
for a solution

found meditation
along with a bunch of quotes
that got me started

and next thing I knew,
it all became natural
headphones really helped

fully invested
I went all in, went *****-deep
and got rewarded

and I stopped posting
didn't matter anymore
I was addicted

work once avoided
became opportunities
to become stronger

for an hour a day
at the very least, I trained
even on off-days

for 20 minutes
I also meditated
to relax myself

I found contentment
and although i'm sore as hell,
I'm way happier

at twenty seven,
I have reached the very peak
and i'm still climbing

day in, day out,
all the same
eating,
sleeping,
playing games

sometimes I look
at these **** walls
and in a way,
I hope they fall

but then I take
a look outside
and it just makes me
wanna cry

it's so **** cold
I'd freeze to death
so here I sit
and waste my breath

I feel so useless,
so **** lazy
I can't get out
i'm going crazy
I look outside
pray for relief
but the weatherman
says "wait a week"

but it has been
a couple days
don't think I can
go on this way

I have to break out
from my mind
or I won't make it to tonight

so
juicy
that I had
to wash both my elbows

when
it
comes
to
lighting smokes,
I gotta dig Bic

in a world where everyone
is trying to get ahead,
make their family proud,
and their neighbors jealous

i'm just trying to feel useful,
like if I was to die tomorrow
I'd be missed,
and not replaced within a week

baby all I wanna do
is try and get along with you
why do we have to fuss and fight?
can't figure out, it's just not right

I know I slept in kinda late
I'm sorry, I don't feel so great
I'm trying to change the way I feel
but you just don't see the appeal

I can't be still, I can't be lazy
and you look at me  like I'm crazy
or worse, like it's some kind of crime
to build myself and **** some time

I'm sorry that I can't sit still
it's just the way I have to deal
I go too far, I get obsessed
but if I don't, I get depressed

at least, if I work out a bit
I won't feel like a *******
lie to myself, at least that way
I had a good, productive day

and if I went to meditate
at least, I got my thinking straight
but with all this, you're just annoyed
with everything that brings me joy

can we start over?
baby, please
I love you
I don't wanna leave
but when you
start to act this way
it really pushes me away

can't play guitar,
can't take a ***
without you finding fault with me
and that's just how
you make me feel
I gotta doubt if you're for real

so tell me, baby
what did I do?
I'm trying so hard to get along with you
don't wanna go,
I wanna stay,
but I feel like we need some space

to meditate,
to cook and clean,
to work off nervous energy
why does it have to cause a fight?
and cut into my sleep at night?