The candle that flickers in the distance
The night-light that illuminates the room
Still doesn’t protect me from the monster
That isn’t really there

He lives in the darkest corner of my room
And waits until I am asleep
To lurk into the faint light
And show his faceless face

As I awake from my slumber
He puts a trace on my soul
So that he can safely approach
My defenseless body

I lie their as still as a statue
I try hard to let out a scream
And when nothing comes out
He stands over top of me

He knows he is winning
When he stares into my petrified eyes
But when I look back at him
I wonder if he is trying to make me stronger

He takes his nonexistent hands
And places them onto my chest
And with increasing pressure
He squeezes the breath out of my body

I gather all the strength I have
Trying to force a movement
And just when I’ve given up
I feel my toes wiggle

Relief rushes through my body like a drug
And finally the movement transfers
From my toes to my legs
From my legs to my entire body

I break free from his despicable clutch
And I let out an ear piercing scream
I spring out from under the covers
In hopes that I catch my terrorist

I hear the stomps of my parents
Coming from the hallway
They enter my room
Before I can tell them “no”

And the hall light produces
Just enough light
To make my demon
Disappear

I hang my head in defeat
My parents make sure that I am okay
And after they tuck me in I lie in bed
And wait for him to visit again.

Timid
And scared.
There i lie.
I can't breathe,
Nor can i tell you why.
Im gasping for oxygen,
Like there's nothing more
I could lose.
I'm feeling numb again;
Possibly for the 100th time.
I endure a rush
In my veins,
The poison
Of anxiety running through.
I lay right there,
Till i pass out;
With the help of this
Only theory:
That "It was just a dream."
A Bad Dream.

My blankets are cold.
My sheets? Unforgiving.
I can't help but wonder
At all that I'm missing.

I sit in this room
Brimming with nothing
Just wishing you were here
Instead of having nothing

Nothing is wrong
Except where you should be? nothing
There's nothing but me
Nothing but me in my own head

Nothing is colder
Nothing is worse
Than missing nothing
Nothing anymore

your hair is now nothing
your tears? no more
no more resent
nothing anymore

now you're nothing
just some dirt in the ground
i can't help but wonder
if i could've helped you stay something

i still miss you
even in all your nothing
my little white scar
is now your only being

Nothing is wrong? Okay,
I trust your judgement.
No seriously! It's nothing!
Just keep in touch, okay?

Crumbled teeth
Fear and loss
Please let my body down

LED
Mumblings
The only way I drown

Anxiety

Anxiety

I'll never get to sleep.

Scary dream
Mangled screams
But oh how do YOU envision such a scene?
Much different I suppose
Than oh. One of THOSE

Sighing slowly
Ever near
When will I be free from here?
Arms unbound and heart now found
Free to make such awful sounds

up and down inside out
spread me thin through the ground
Cover them up. Hide them true
Sew me up lace the wounds
Send me far far away
In tomorrow, instead of today.


Scary dreams
Mangled screams
Coming from inside
Where darkness makes a hide
Seeping into the shadows
Creasing ever corner

Oh how I wonder
If I should really warn her?

The feeling of loneliness that resides.
The heartache that makes you cry.
The guilt that kills you from the inside.
The gut wrenching screams that shook you awake at night.
A momentary lapse of your moral rectitude destroyed your once happy life.
One mistake is all it took to fragmentize your soul.
Just some words.
Just some words spoken under the influence of anger that clouded your mind,
Were enough to shatter the world you worked so hard to build.
The regret suffocates you.
The flashbacks haunt you.
No medication seems to work.
No place to go.
The memories run like a broken record in your mind.
There is no path that seems to be right.
Except for an endlessly dark abyss leading to self destruction.