I want to drink a little too much with you.
Wander the streets laughing about nothing, staring in the store windows.
Looking for a glow of an open sign to find a new pack of cigarettes.
Staying up too late, telling too many truths.
Acting on all of our bad ideas,
With em the excuse in our heads that tomorrow it won’t matter.

Alone, maybe it's not such a bad thing anymore
Can't fall asleep or remember what it was like before
Quietly lie, say I feel fine, as they check in for the hundredth time
I don't belong, I don't belong here

Stop saying that time is the best medicine
It's been months and I'm still not healing
You can't stop someone after they've already jumped in
Nothing, nobody knows how I'm feeling

And everyone thinks they understand
Say "I go through that all the time"
No you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be smiling

Blanket beneath my chin, stare at the TV
Even when it's off, and the wind blows free
And it feels like it's taunting me because I can't leave
I'm not bad, I'm not good, so what am I?

Please don't stick around. I don't want a glass of water.
Don't leave the curtains open, I don't want the light of day
Drown my feelings, I'm not the perfect daughter
You wanted, I tried but I died along the way

And the pain turns to hurt
And the bad turns to worse
Like I thought it would go.

You could never feel
All this pain, yes it's real
And it's like wildfire through my mind

And I'm falling through air
Feels like I'm not there
Maybe I'm dead

Alone

Is that such a bad thing anymore?

There will be a day where I can look at him in the eye
And say
You are
Evil
You are a
Monster
You are not my dad anymore

There once was a man named John
He was gay
and wished he wasn't

So he decided to try something new
He married a woman
he raised all the goats, prostitutes, and ******* goats
His face formed a straight toothed smile
covering a shadowed tear
his circuits failed to reach a lightbulb
and no connection was made
now he was in prison
for holding an illegal human trafficking ring
and the ******* goats were allowed to roam free.
sometimes you can still hear them calling out to their owner John.

“You take everything too seriously.”
“You just don’t have a sense of humor.”
“No matter how I react it’s wrong.”
I take things too seriously?
I’m sorry that I’m not always cracking jokes.
I don’t have a sense of humor?
I didn’t know to laugh at jokes at my expense.
Why am I always the punchline?
Why is my mental health a joke to you?
No matter how you react it’s wrong?
It’s always wrong because you always react the same way.
You never make an effort to change how you react to me.
Yet I’m always the one that’s sorry.
I’m the bad guy.
Put me in handcuffs and lock me away.
Why aren’t you ever sorry?
I guess I missed the memo from God stating your perfection.
My anger is never justified but yours is.
I just need to accept the fact that you will never admit to being wrong.
Accept the fact that I will never hear you say sorry.
I wrote you a letter saying sorry.
But now all I want to do is rip it up.
Burn it.
Throw the ashes into the lake.
Maybe I’ll jump in while I’m there.

Peace rings with Harmonia's song
Balance floats with your soft hymns
Winds skip past, flowing effortlessly as leaves dance
My eyes open, all is shed, and clarity sets

Your frequencies screech
Chaos jabs at the foundation
Shadowed by Eris's blackened wings
Uprooting and dismantling me, but why?

We exist together, to bring growth

~
We don't need
Other worlds
We need mirrors

We need thin waists
And a hysteresis curve
To the hips

Let us drink in the sea
And laugh as our number
Comes up

Let us commit
To be noncommittal
And talk nary a word

On age and death
Over afternoon tea
In the bright withered garden

Where the goodness of man
Longed to be more
Than its darkling reflection
~

Dad you taught me the biggest lesson of life

Never marry anyone like you ..