I lie there with my eyes open,
The dreams carrying you relentlessly through every pore,
In the state of rest, my heart thrashes...
You hear me, baby?
The throes of an anguished singer.

The world can remain dead to my song,
The song might get lost inside the tomb of your heart,
But when it laps gently on the walls,
Don't you feel the flutter of a loved soul?
When it thrashes wild inside your heart,
Don't you hear the feel of your anguished singer?

My baby! I feel light and lifted,
The song gently kissing the pores skipped,
Ah! There I see a trace of light...
At the end of the tunnel a new song awaits...

I shouldn't have turned dear for that last look,
You didn't stop, yet I stopped,
Frail, I headed back...
The song squeaked, hoping to touch your heart...

I lay there, my body still,
Your steps echoing inside every pore,
My heart baby, beating fast,
I waited as you came across,
The steps halted but you walked past,
In the state of rest, my heart thrashes...
You hear me, baby?
The throes of an anguished loser.

The shortest distance, I thought
Was between two hearts,
I only had to take a step,
And already there at your door step.

Several months,  your door shut,
I worked alone fearing distress...
Wearing a smile for the world to see,
Gripping the pain holding it within me.

You have your reasons for staying shut,
Not realising, you are inducing a cut,
I try to force myself closer,
You add more distance and walk further.

I am not used being without you,
I don't want to force more trouble on you,
I keep asking do I deserve this pain
But without you my life is vain...

I remain... Bearing pain..
Dawn or not,  I will remain,
Life or end,  I will continue,
Hoping your love will renew.

With love,
Hope

I'm a hamster in a wheel.
Where am I going?
Nowhere. I am going nowhere.

Thirsty...
I **** on the tube of warm water.
Hungry...
I eat  dry pellets of god knows what.
And I rely on you.
For nourishment. For my little life.
I need you.
You keep me alive.

You bought me a home-
A little cube with see-through walls.
A cell with no bars.
You gave me a bed-
A pile of scented flakes.

And through the walls I see the outside.
I see freedom.
A half inch away
But a half inch too far
The walls keep me in.

I hate you more then anything.
I despise you.

But I need you.

For water.
For food.
To clean my ****.
I need you.

I'm a hamster in a wheel
I'm a hamster in a wheel
And I'm going nowhere
nowhere at all.

Long chains cutting deep,
In both my wrists and ankles
I watch my flesh decay,
Falling off, feeding my only friend,
The little mouse in my dungeon
Reminding me of freedom, each day,
And how it all depends on my choice

Now, cloth me up so nice,
White suit, black tie and rose
Let me speak, but not walk on the path of truth,
Best smile, firm handshake and a warm hug
Avoid all mirrors, can’t let anybody see,
That which lurks behind my reflection,
Moves in the shadow besides me

A stranger within, a second voice
Two souls fleshed as one, possessed
The unending war deep within
Black verses white, a smudge
Grayish, sometimes darker
And tonight I shine bright,
Casting a shadow so dark

One more time I come,
The monster you created,
Deep down in your dark heaven
For your coronation, dark spirit,
But wait for your black rose
An ending reign to your kingship,
As I break down your stone wall
And raining red on its ruins

All of this torment
I did not consent
In all this suffering
There is no comforting
In all this despair
No one cares
In this grief
I get no relief
I am so spent
More than bent
In all this pain
I am not sane
In all this anguish
I just languish
It's pure desolation
If I failed to mention
With no more hope
I only cope

Dripping like hot molten rock
Liquid gold it just won't stop
Dropping like rose petals to the ground
The splashes of red is all around

I've seen that face
So full of sorrow and disgrace
I've seen scars like those before
The demons are poring through the door

Let them come, I don't care anymore
Living has become to much of a chore
I scream and yell, trying to get someone to care
But no one will, learned long ago life is so very far from fair

So I'll take my pills
There suppose to cure my ills
But they don't, nothing will
Living my life takes to much skill

Anguish is over running my cup
I'm so very close to giving up
So if you don't see me come tomorrow
You'll know I couldn't take the sorrow

A woman draped in a black hooded dress
Softly and slowly the coffin she caress
She is here for the death
She is quiet bereft
The tears slide down her flawless face
Cheeks a pink rose tint, lips blood red hue, there's no disgrace
Her hair is raven colored, she is nothing, if not grace
Her healing hands over her face she places
Her gut wrenching anguished moans can be heard for miles
She falls to her knees in the aisles
Behind her closed eyes she sees every moment of this life
The microseconds of happiness the years of anguish and strife
She cries and wails for a life lived this way
She moans and sways
For in that coffin is where her life lays

All of this torment
I did not consent
In all this suffering
There is no comforting
In all this despair
No one cares
In this grief
I get no relief
I am so spent
More than bent
In all this pain
I am not sane
In all this anguish
I just languish
It's pure desolation
If I failed to mention
With no more hope
I only cope

Here you are, my oldest friend
I knew we would meet again
I realy wish you would of stayed away
But again I just seemed to cave
The stress was all to much
And on me you decided to munch
You didn't just walk through my door
You ******* knocked me to the floor
You made sure I did get up
With grief and sorrow you filled up my cup
So I'll just lay here and slowly languish
In all of my gut wrenching anguish

I am caught, crucified,
My hands trembling, extended,
I clasp for these walls.
I have lost faith, in the night,
In the tight embrace of love
My back is broken.
Prepared, for this crooked bed.
Prepared, for the hounding face of time.