looking at you feels like I am being brutally bludgeoned to death because all I want is for you to look back at me and instantly feel weak in the knees
I want you to look at me and have your heart physically drop to your stomach and I want you to look at me while praying quietly to yourself that one day I will be yours
I want all these things because it isn't fair for you to make me feel such strong things when you don't feel them yourself
I want it so very badly but I guess the thing I want from you the most is for you to at least
just
look at me

And this.
This is what
it could
be like.


                                                                                                   And this.
                                                                                              This is what
                                                                                                    it almost
                                                                                                    was like.

so close



so close

so close

so close

my own little valentine

Orange skylines with
Copper inconsistencies,
Cobbled pavements
Converging, at odd angles,
Stepped on
By fairytale homes
And tourist feet,
Almost, just almost,
Drowning out the violins
And the voices,
Almost making me forget
That Europe isn’t home,
Somehow.

Sitting all alone in my basement
With less than an hour til 2015

Lying to myself by making
Resolutions

Still, I tell myself
I will be a better person

What.
*******.
*******.

things you said to me while drunk

1. I remember all of our moments.
2. I'm very…generous.
3. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
4. It's our first time.
5. We're going to my room.
6. You aren't drunk enough.
7. Good night, Sam.



things I said to you while drunk**
1. Come over.
2. I'm not trying to ****** you.
3. I guess we will…
4. I was just trying to be nice.
5. It doesn't matter.
6. You have a problem.
7. I think I miss you.