I am getting older

and my body is in tatters

My Doctor's say, "You're fine, You're fit"

I think they're mad as hatters

Each day a new pain rears it's head

My body falls apart

My Doctor's say, "You're fine, You're fit"

As they listen to my heart

My bladder's my new stop watch

Each night I rise to ***

I get up once at half past ten

And then just after three

I'm cold and then I'm sweating

Sometimes both in  one breath

It makes me feel I'm crazy

It's a slow, nervewracking death

My knees ache every morning

And my hips pop as I walk

I have to work my jawbones

Just so I can start to talk

I've had surgeries on my body

Just to help me stay alive

I can't see where I am going

I'm can no longer go and drive

But, my Doctors say I'm healthy

They say I'm healthy as a horse

But isn't "Flicka" served in restaurants?

His flesh is now a new main course

I use a cane when I go walking

I have a seat to go upstairs

I wear a wig when I'm in public

I seem to dress myself in layers

I need a pill to wake myself up

I need another so I sleep

But because my bladder's my new stopwatch

I never go to sleep too deep

Today I'm going to get tested

To check the hearing in one ear

Please excuse me for a moment

What was that you said my dear?

Now my Doctor's keep insisting

That there's nothing wrong with me

Like I said, I think I'm crazy

They're the nuts and I'm the tree.

they've got me tricked out special

I've got orthotics and a cane

My bursititis hurts like crazy

And I think it's gonna rain

My oxygen tank is empty

And my voiding bag is not

But I'm still having those flashes

I still feel cold and hot

With the bag I sleep much better

I don't get up twice to ***

But it wasn't fun last birthday

Having a colostomy

But, my Doctor's say Don't Worry

Your'e as fit as fit can be

But I tell them it's distressing

For I'm not yet thirty three

I'm sick of always hurting

Each day more vigor do I lose

But today I am excited

I'm getting velcro for my shoes

I think some exercise might help me

With all my aches and all my pains

It may help me to feel younger

Feel like thirty two again

But my Doctors, Oh my Doctors

Say there's nothing wrong at all

It's just a natural part of aging

It's mother nature come to call

But I know, I 'm getting older

and it's just a part of life

I'm just glad I have a drug plan

To help me with this strife

Now, my O2 tank is full now

And I've got a buzzing in my head

That means my battery is running low

So...Goodnight...I'm off to bed...

We all know time passes

Just blink and it is gone

But, you can bring it back a little

Just by listening to a song

A video, an mp3

You can travel through the years

It might bring you a sweet smile

Or may accentuate your tears

Time is such a fickle beast

It's a vesper you can't hold

One day you are young and fair

And the next day you are old

There never is enough of

And it vanishes so fast

You look into your future

And start remembering your past

Time cannot be captured

You can't trap it, make it yours

You can't keep it in a bottle

It won't help you open doors

But, just where does the time go?

Does it disappear for good?

If you knew you could just save it

Would you do it if you could?

I think I have an answer

Now that time has passed me by

I have less time in my mirror

That's the truth and not a lie

I think that time's immortal

It will never go away

It just hangs around and lingers

But, it's forever here to stay

So, back to our first question

Where exactly does time go ?

Time ...goes into your memories

Time goes into your mind's show

It feeds you little snippets

From the past, when you were young

It comes out from a scent you smell

Or you a hear a song that's sung

Time...it never leaves you

Though you don't know where it went

The memories stay with you

And will show how time was spent.

You tell me that you love me so,
and that you always will-
a love like that is hard to find,
and harder to fulfill.
You love me while I'm full of life
I truly hope you stay,
but are you gonna love me when
the luster falls away?

I'll never be this young again,
now, please, don't think me bold-
but are you sure your love will stand
when I am gray and old?
The spring will be gone from my step,
my strength will also fade.
Will I turn round to see you gone,
or be glad that you stayed?

The stars themselves fade out in time,
their shine will dim and die,
and it won't take that kind of time
to wither you and I;
but if you love me as you say,
then time will see us kept,
until beneath her currents cold
the river sees us swept.

So, when the luster falls away,
and all that's left is old,
will you still be the one I have,
the one I get to hold?
If your dear heart is true enough
to an old soul like me,
then that sweet love will be enough
for my eternity.

Silence.
It wraps you in a comforting embrace
Your breath is the only sound.
Can you hear that? You hear nothing.
Lose count of the time passing, relax.
Nothing is important, right now.

Silence.
It grips you in its icy claws.
Your breath is harsh and quick.
What was there to say? You see nothing.
There is no moving lips or words, waiting.
Nothing is going well, right now.

Silence.
It hides you as long as you keep it.
You hold your breath.
Will he find you? You know nothing.
Screams echo in your head, crying.
Nothing you can do, right now.

Silence.
It welcomes you back after the years.
Your breath has stopped.
Why do they cry? You felt nothing.
Lose count of the time passing, relax.
Nothing is important, right now.

When the reasons seem so empty
and expectations seem so grand
it is hard to find the courage
to satisfy demand

When the beck and call is silent
and the path before is gone
it is too much to just continue
although I know I must go on

All along I have been searching
an easy way to have it all
never trying just to do it
too afraid that I would fall

And now as I grow older
My time is running out
and if I do not do it now
than I will have to do without.

Harvesting
Feeding your mind with knowledge,
quenches opportunity to inhale wisdom.

Pressing
Squeezing wisdom into a humble reflection, ripens your mind.  

Fermentation
A mind connected to growth,
provokes insightful sophistication.

Clarification
The abundance of one's progress becomes obvious to the cultivated mind.

Aging
A clear open mind inspires your full aging potential.

Jl 2016

There is an ancient woman
In the market near my home
Who walks the timeless amble
Of a battered soul alone.
Her pasted orange tresses
A marmalade cascade
Fall so stiffly down to where
Her hand is always laid
Clutching her treasure bag
She goes her way careless
Ignoring chiding glances
At her faded evening dress.

Her story hides in rumors
Whispered by those who work
In the shops and restaurants
Here near McArthur Park.
They say she was a movie queen
Or an extra in the silent days
And an accident at the studio
Made her bald unto this day.
She refused to remove the wig
She ran out crying, in costume
And now she is still wearing it
Hoping he will find her soon.

The woman at the pharmacy
Said her hair caught on fire
At a movie in the twenties
Her boss calls her a liar;
Says the leading man did it
In a fit of rage and jealousy
When she wouldn't marry him
He set fire to the scenery.
Others heard that she was fired,
But she wouldn't leave the set
So deep inside her mind
She really hasn't left it yet.

Some have tried to talk to her
But she never speaks that much
Except inquiring prices and colors
Of the goods she chances to touch.
To direct questions and advances
She turns sadly away and leaves.
You can tell she is sensitive
You can tell by her face she grieves.
It is easy to see she is living
In some world that is not ours
Her world seems a place of gloom
Of thunderstorms and showers.

She caresses with her fingertips
Along the banisters she passes
And she seldom lets her gaze linger
Behind her smoked sunglasses.
Her satin dress has faded,
Like the color of her hair.
She still lingers in each moment
When she walks down the stair.
She never seems to notice those
Who stop and goggle at her
And they are many, these gawkers
But they just don’t' seem to matter.

She seems to have accepted
What her life has now become.
She has been coming to the park
For decades more than some.
This may be a playground
For popeyed urban gnomes.
But this is where she shops
This decaying place her home.
This park is very much like her
Many ages past its prime.
The vestiges of past glory
Have not been erased by time.

It is as important
to recognize
what love isn't
as it is
to know
what love is

mistake not
lust
ego-driven
crush
flash flood
rush

nor need
the kind
that scours
the bones
licks the marrow
clean

not apathy
silent killer
complacent
acceptance
of less than
we deserve

violence
physical
verbal
control
love is never
these

it is
easy breathing
reflexive
vital
doubles down
no surrender

love holds
through heat and cold
sick and old
when age
erases my name
from your memory

I will come to you
fresh every day
someone new
different wig
ravish-me dress
old-lady hot

we’ll have a little fun
with the time left
at least you’ll die
thinking to yourself
*still got it
with the ladies

I have always enjoyed the shows
Being in the second row.
Here, I avoid the spittle from the stages,
Felt safe behind third base,
When a line drive missed my face;
Playing sax behind clarinets in Band;
The first row gets chosen first;
I could rest my head on my desk,
Slouch behind raised hands.
An A-Team player always got hurt,
Or worse.
Behind me,
Are infinite rows and tiers,
And each gets a turn;
After second row.