you kiss me
you kiss me,
that'd never happen (will it ?)
i know (do i ?)
but you kiss me
and i don't soar, i don't fly i don't do nothing of that
i just hold your hand and thank the prayer,
thank the saint, thank the giver,
i don't ask for one more, don't want it
just once, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦.

Again, I **** the cigarette.
Again, I nurse the liquid fire.
Again, again, again.
I do these things again and
again, for no other reason than this:
It reminds me of him.

The destructive daughter
and the delicate one.

The blunt daughter,
and the passive one.

The rageful daughter
and the sad one.

The out burst daughter
and the collapse-in-on-itself one.

The always apologizing daughter
and the always receiving them one.

The destructive daughter
and the delicate one.

once again i fell into the pit
as the darkness vibrantly hit
my consciousness as well as my wit
were taken as i was forced to submit

once again it swallowed me
chains on my wrist as I'll never be free
vision slowly becomes hazy
please let this not be my reality

once again i screamed so loud
no one heard me, not even the crowd
speaking silently with no sound
my eyes seek for the blue sky amidst the cloud

once again I'm in this pit
but these feelings i cannot admit
agony filled me as it seethe
once again the darkness bit

The sun and the moon
In the same sky, not left out
In the cold darkness

So long since I had you, you used to ease into me,
slowly, up my legs you crept. Slashing into my
native origins, you made me moan, you made me wait.
I used to rush you, then again, slow you down. I haven’t
felt you in a very long time. I miss you; I need
you to ease into my loneliness. I need you to thrill me.
I want to feel you again, over and over and over.  

It used to take a long time for me to feel you. Since I
haven’t had you, the wait is nerve racking. The wait is
increasing my desire for you. I don’t want to be insistent
but come to me. In the middle of the night, in the light
of day, when the sun is shining, when the storm is
brewing.

I want you in me, I want you now. I want you to know
that it’s hard to live without you, it’s not easy having
to do without.

I dream about you sometimes, I miss you ‘cause I can’t
catch you like I used to.  I get a taste of you only when
my memories return. Last but not least, I want to feel
you again. I want and need you.  I want you to smash
my body with an explosion that I will never forget.


I want you to assume the position and hit me with your
best shot.  Knock on my doors, I will let you in without
a doubt.

Come to me, will you please hurry!  I’m waiting for you to
re-enter my world. I can’t wait any longer, I have to
have you. I need you inside my world. Here I am, let’s
get it on. I need you, I want you, and I’m ready….

Dear ******!

you may or may not find this,
in the middle of the night
or on a rainy sunday afternoon.

my mind runs rampant,
while my heart is still,
because i realized what love is
at the very least, a fragment of it;

love looks past flaws and chaos,
past the foreseeable risk & damage,
and i know i did amidst it all
leaving no room for me to regret.

i know i tugged your soul
towards a better light, a better day
because i stayed with you at your worst
and now remain bewildered when you say
you've changed for the better.

forgive a heart that wavered,
i used to think love is a home;
we always move someplace better
when all the heart feels is nothing but homeless.

i had to unlearn that.

to venture love as strength,
to lose and find oneself over
and over again & be better;
because lost is a lovely place
to find oneself,
and to begin again.

and as i bid you my final farewell,
i'd like to let you know
that i'll tuck the memories within,
hold them dearly and know deep in myself;
i have loved and i have no regrets.

and i will love again,
break again,
get lost again,
find myself & begin again.

IA

the cliff is steep
my legs are getting heavy
feeling weak
weekly tribulation
seething through my teeth
as i fight to the peak

the fall is long
my body’s numbing
though i’m very strong
abyss has been prolonged
i’m fighting daily
giving up is wrong
even if i can’t go anymore
the fall won’t last
for long

- negassie